For those of you who have never experienced the joys of having a menstrual cycle (and you know who you are GUYS!), allow me to describe what it’s like.
Imagine your uterus has decided to claw it’s way out of your body, through your cervix, down your vagina and between your legs, turning you inside out in the process so it can drag your sorry butt down 75 miles of baaaaaaaad highway as it goes for a long, messy stroll.
No, wait. I forget. Those of you who have never experienced the joys of a menstrual cycle (MEN!) don’t understand terms like ‘uterus’ or ‘cervix’ or ‘vagina.’ So let me rephrase that in terminology that you will understand…
Imagine that your testicles have decided to crawl up into your body and claw their way out through your urethra and out the tip of your penis, turning your sorry carcass inside out in the process and dragging you behind it down 75 miles of baaaaaaaad highway while your wife nags at you for forgetting to put out the garbage before you went out on this little stroll. That’s kind of what it’s like. Only it’s actually worse. Much, much worse.
God I feel lousy.
