Sunday Contentments – Faaaaaaaaaarpoint

Wow am I beat. I got back from the Farpoint science fiction convention a couple hours ago, and am now quietly unwinding in front of the TV while the kids watch the Olympics and chow down on marshmallow lollipops. I had such a busy weekend, I’m about to fall asleep while blogging, so I’ll try to keep this short. What I loved about Farpoint this weekend…

  • Getting to see friends I would never get to see otherwise.
  • Getting to see friends I haven’t seen since college, including people who were at my wedding 16 years ago..
  • Being a professional writer for a weekend. Yes, I’m a professional writer all the time, but nothing makes me feel more like a writer than attending a con, running panels, selling books, and doing readings. I put the “stay” in stay-at-home mom, so getting out like this is a big deal.
  • Did I mention seeing my friends? I have many cool friends; very cool, very strange friends.
  • Shopping for a corset. I had not planned to buy a corset, but I found one in a black and red flame print and that was all she wrote. I’ll be wearing it for readings from here on out.
  • Selling books. I sold the last 3 copies of Future Perfect that I had this weekend. It amazes me that I’ll need to get more copies before I hit Balticon in May.
  • Doing panels on erotica and speculative fiction. I like being the recognized expert on something.
  • Having my friends show up for my panels. Did I mention I love my friends?

All in all, it was a great weekend. I’ll do a full after-con report for this Writing Wednesday. But now, I’m going to…

Zzzzzzzzzz…

Writing Wednesday – Lessons from Marscon, part 2

Once again, I’m looking at at what I learned from my most recent public appearance as a professional writer. I spent the weekend of 15-17 January at Marscon in Williamsburg, VA, and in addition to having a great time, I learned a few things about going on the road. You can read lessons 1-5 here. But right now, let’s jump into #6 and go straight through to the end.

Lesson #6 – Take care of yourself at the con! I can’t emphasize this enough. I had to man my author table from all during then day then turn around and spend three hours each night participating in panels. Not that I’m complaining! But that’s a lot of work and an exhausting schedule. Most of my panels were scheduled to start at 10PM and didn’t end until 1AM, so I was up very late both Friday and Saturday night. Between that and the hours I needed to spend at my table actively selling my books, my chances of going out for a meal were mostly screwed. However, I was smart enough to bring a few groceries to the con, so I always had some healthy snacks on hand (a lot of people kept asking, “What are you planning to do with that bannana, young lady?” “Oh, it’s part of my act,” I’d reply). I also made sure I had plenty of water with me, since hotels get pretty dry. So I managed to eat and drink no matter how crazy my schedule was, and that went a long way toward me not passing out around 11PM during a panel. Very important to keep in mind.

Lesson #7 – Bring a power strip. I really could have used one of these this weekend. I brought both my cell phone and my netbook, expecting to use them both. Problem was, my hotel room didn’t offer much in the way of electrical outlets. They were all tucked behind large pieces of furniture, making them damned near impossible to reach. The one I could reach without rearranging the room was cracked and warped so badly I couldn’t plug either the phone or the laptop into it. That meant I had no cell phone and no netbook for most of the weekend, which sort of sucked. Next year I’m bringing a power strip with a surge supressor so that I can be certain to have outlets that I can reach and thus have a charged netbook and cell phone. ‘Nuff said.

Lesson #8 – Bring a friend along! When a friend of mine heard I was going to Marscon, she mentioned she wanted to go too. I just happened to have an extra bed in my room, so I offered it and she accepted. This worked out really well. Jett not only bought me dinner Saturday night, she also helped me lug around my box of books and promo and helped me set up and break down each day. Plus she showed up to almost every panel I was on, which gave me the warm fuzzies like you wouldn’t believe. It’s nice to have friends who support everything you do, and Jett just made the weekend so much easier and nicer than I ever could have imagined.

Lesson #9 – One author can do a little, 6 authors can do a lot. I was not the only erotica author at Marscon last weekend. J.M. Snyder, Treva Harte, Kathryn Lively, and Sapphire Phelan were there too. I made sure of it. For the last three years now, I’ve coordinated with Marscon and EPIC Virginia to ensure that there are a group of e-published authors at the convention. It means a little more work for me than if I just went on my own, but the benefits more than make up for it. For starters, one erotica author by herself wouldn’t warrent an entire track of adult-themed programming. But six authors, especially when two of them are publishers of spec fic erotica and erotic romance? That definitely deserves a special track. By going as a group, we were able to do a series of panels on e-publishing and writing speculative fiction erotica and romance. In return, we got guest status at the con, our bios in the program book, a chance to talk to readers, and a late night reading. We were also able to split the cost of author tables to keep expenses down, and by sharing the tables we were better able to fill them, making it look like we really meant serious business (which we did). Together, we were just bigger and better than we would have been on our own.

Lesson #10 – Stuff happens. There was actually supposed to be one more author with us at Marscon – Beth Wylde. Beth is one of the best I’ve seen at public appearances, and we had a blast working together last year. She had signed up for this year, but had an unexpected emergency the night before and couldn’t make it. In years past, I might have panicked, but I’ve learned that something will always go wrong at a convention. Rather than pull my hair out, I talked to the other authors and we made arrangements to fill in for Beth’s panels. It’s a shame she wasn’t able to make it, because she really would have been a hit again this year. But we were able to work around that. And Beth, if you’re reading this, I hope everything is going well now and I’ve already got you on the list for next year!

Writing Wednesday – Lessons from Marscon, part 1

I love going to conventions. I especially had a great time last weekend at Marscon in Williamsburg, VA. Being a guest at a convention is one of those things that really makes me feel like all the hours I spend huddled over the keyboard are more than worth it. I get treated like a minor star, I get to sell my books and talk to fans (yes, I have a few!), I get to do readings and moderate discussion panels… It’s all very heady stuff.

But conventions are real learning experiences too. I’m pretty comfortable with what I do by myself at home — sitting down to write, coming up with story ideas, hunting for markets and sending out submissions, etc. Public appearances are all together different. Here’s a list of things I learned last weekend about being a writer on the road.

Lesson #1 – Pack early. The day before the convention started, I had all my promo material scattered in fifteen different boxes. There was no rhyme or reason to where things were stored. I had an author table to run at the con, and so I started pulling out all those boxes to take stock of what I had and organize it more efficiently. I wish I had done this sooner, a lot sooner! It took all day to sort through boxes of bookmarks, business cards, post cards, buttons, and posters. I was a little surprised at what I did and didn’t have to take. It never occurred to me to put together new business cards for the new website. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that, but when I pulled out my old business cards and saw the old URL, I smacked myself hard in the forehead. On the upside, I discovered I still had enough bookmards for Future Perfect and Heat Flash, and one of my publishers had sent me plenty of promo for the books by other authors that I had offered to take with me to the con. He even got me a t-shirt with the cover art for Future Perfect on it and a huge banner that said, “Meet the author, Helen E. H. Madden!” Made for a very full, very nice table.

Lesson #2 – Make sure your luggage has wheels. I had to dig to find a storage container big enough to hold all my books and promo. Unfortunately, said container did not have wheels. That meant I had to lug around a 70 lb. box of stuff at least twice each day I was at the con. Sometimes I was able to snag a luggage cart from the hotel, but at least once I had to carry that damned box from my author table on the first floor all the way up to my hotel room on the third floor. I’m damned lucky I didn’t rupture myself. Before the next con, I’m getting a sturdy box with wheels and a handle!

Lesson #3 – Chocolate is a great way to lure readers in. This is a trick I learned from Beth Wylde. Last year I shared a table with Beth, and she brought a bowl of chocolates to give out to everyone who walked by. I brought my own chocolates this year, and every time someone came within earshot, I called out, “Have a chocolate! It’s free!” Even the one person who didn’t like chocolate stopped to take a look at my table (and tell me why they didn’t like chocolate), and more than a few people actually hung around for a while to talk. Which leads me to my next lesson learned…

Lesson #4 – Conversations lead to sales. I actually knew this from years prior. If you can hold a conversation with someone, you have a good shot at getting them to buy your book. I had a lot of conversations with people that lasted 10 minutes or longer, and seven of those conversations ended up in sales. Others at least ended with people taking my card, some bookmarks, and the catalog for one of my publishers’ books. I made certain to do two things in every conversation. The first thing I did was mention that all my books were available for purchase online, in print and various digital formats, in case people wanted to buy later. The second thing I did was make sure I let them talk while I listened. I’ve seen more than one author go on and on without listening to the people they were talking to. In fact, I’ve been one of those people being prattled at, and sometimes it’s like being trapped by a vicious predator who will only let you go if you BUY, BUY, BUY! I never buy from those people, ever. So rather than push too hard, I let others do the talking for a bit while I listen, so as not to turn them off me and my books forever.

Lesson #5 – Dress up your table. Take another gander at the picture at the beginning of this post. Go on, I’ll wait. Okay, what did you see? Nice table, huh? While hunting for something to carry all my books and promo in, I found a long piece of black and gold lace cloth that I decided to use as a table cloth for my author table. Most author tables are either plain, bare folding tables or plain folding tables with some yucky standard issue hotel tablecloth. The lace fabric transformed my table from old and ugly to nifty and neat, and it went really well with all the bright covers of the books I had on display. I tell ya, I looked like a pro!

I’ve got another five lessons from this past weekend that I’ll post next Wednesday. So be sure to come back next week! It’s all good stuff, I promise.

Ballticon, I love you!

I just got back from Balticon 43 and damn I’m tired. Four straight days of fun, frolic, work, mind-bending conversation, fan-girl moments and sundry madness. Here are several of my favorite moments from the convention, in no particular order.

  1. Getting there. You people have no idea how much I love climbing into my old beater car and heading out of town. I used to do long drives like this all the time, pre-kids. Now these drives only happen a couple times a year. When I’m in my beater car, I can listen to my favorite music, drink a ton of coffee, and rant out loud with only other drivers to look at me like I’m crazy. I used to drive to the same area Balticon is in for Army Reserves drill, so I really miss this. Although admittedly, Balticon is a lot more fun than Army Reserves.
  2. Hugs. I got hugs from everyone – Paulette Jaxton, Elf, Mike Pederson, Doug from College (who I only got to see for 30 seconds, but man what a hug!), Cmaaaarrr, Sci Fi Laura, Steve Eley, Gutshot, Matt F’n Wallace, Christiana Ellis, Mae Breakall, Kim the Comic Book Goddess, Dee, Nobilis, Heather Welliver, Grail Wolf, Mistress Jett, Paul Fischer and Martha Holloway, MAinPA, Dan the Fan, Tee Morris, Podcasting’s Rich Sigfrit, SVAllie, Brand, Vivid Muse, Chooch, Alessia Brio and Will Belegon, Jared Axelrod and J. R. Blackwell, George Hrab, and many, many others. I love getting hugs from friends, and when you only get to see folks face to face a couple times a year, these hugs are very important. Best group hug – Ms. Information, Nobilis and Phil Rossi. Best hug over all – Mur Lafferty. Her husband is a lucky man };)
  3. Info overload. I sat in on a ton of panels, everything from podcasting to geek family life to short fiction readings. My brain is so full of ideas and inspiration, it’s leaking out my ears!
  4. Readings! The Friday evening short fiction slam rocked – Nathan Lowell had the best short story on religion I’ve heard in a long time. Phil Rossi read from Crescent, soon to be released in print. Steve Eley rocked with a little gem on computer viruses and daily life and Chris Lester had me jonesing for Metamor City. On Saturday (or was it Sunday?), I listened to George Hrab read from his essays, many of which you can hear on the Geologic Podcast. All I can say is, wow, that man knows how to capture real life and bring it into sharp, fascinating focus.
  5. The Sex With Aliens panel. Not a live demo, but a fascinating discussion. Bud Sparhawk had some intriguing things to say on the topic, and I walked away with more than a few story ideas.
  6. Social Media for writers panel. Tee Morris IS social media. He knows that topic inside and out, and gives the best advice on how to use social media without coming off like an ass. (He’s also a wonderful writer. I love Billibub Baddings!)
  7. Hearing Phil Rossi confess that reading about other people’s successes on Twitter makes him feel depressed and unsuccessful. It’s an odd choice for a favorite moment, I know, but it was an honest moment (and startling to hear from someone I’m a fan of) and I know exactly what he means. It’s nice to know I’m not the only writer who sits there wondering if they’re being left in the dust.
  8. The look Mur Lafferty gave Nathan Lowell when he talked about how he wrote his first book in ten days, but then things slowed down during edits and rewrites, which took him a couple of weeks. Another truly honest moment from someone who’s work I admire.
  9. CmdLn trying to fix my watch. The man is a hacker-philospher extraordinaire. He’s also a gentleman who did his very best to put a new battery in my fav watch. The attempt may have driven him mad, but I’m grateful he took pity on a gal who owns nine watches, none of which work. And his wife makes and wears the best dresses I’ve ever seen!
  10. Music! Three concerts this weekend – Phil Rossi, George Hrab, and Kim the Comic Book Goddess. Three very different styles, all very good. Phil Rossi and Evo Terra did a little booty shakin’ during George Hrab’s Ms. Information song. I had the best seat in the house for that performance. Too bad I didn’t have any $20s };D
  11. Attaching names to faces. PG Holyfield, I’m glad I got to see your handsome mug too 😉
  12. People playing with my horns. You know you’ve established your image when people like to tweak your horns.
  13. Talking with Matt F’n Wallace at a party Sunday night. The man’s a true gentleman and a great writer. He’s also easy to talk to. Don’t be intimidated by his size or greatness. He’s someone you really ought to get to know.
  14. Dining and partying with friends. Nomming with Gutshot; dinner with Nobilis; lunch with Chooch, Viv, Jett, MA and Dan; breakfast with Cmaaaarrr, Sci Fi Laura, Matt F’n Wallace, Mur Lafferty, and Vintage Jim; stealing sips from Ms. Information’s delightful Dirty Martini. Dinner with Nobilis was particularly nice, as I don’t get enough chances to conspire with my partner in crime.
  15. Calls for Cthulhu, LIVE! Need I say more?
  16. Singularity, again. Earl Newton of Stranger Things has promised we will keep having the Singularity until we get flying cars… or a toaster that doesn’t burn the toast. This is good, because I love seeing Stranger Things on the big screen like this!
  17. Personal Effects: Dark Arts. It just looks cool. And freaky. And… cool.
  18. Escape Pod, LIVE! Acted out by a fantastic cast. The line ‘Brains for baby Jesus’ will ring in my ears for a very long time.
  19. Aliens You Will Meet, LIVE! I’m glad George Hrab won the music contest. It should be a boost to his career 😉
  20. Viv and Chooch’s Podio Books and Web Comics party. Those two really know how to host an event. Though seeing Tee Morris spanking himself while dressed as William Shakespeare has probably scarred me for life…
  21. Sharing a room with Nina Kimberly the Merciless, AKA Christiana Ellis. We really only chatted a couple of times, but she was very cool. And she did not even give me a funny look when she came in and caught me eating cereal and milk out of a bowl with no spoon.
  22. Paulette Jaxton. Hands down, coolest thing about Balticon was sharing a room with this lady. I only wish I could have spent more time with her. Paulette, you RAWK!
  23. Alessia Brio and Will Belegon. Two of the coolest people in erotica and e-publishing. Hot writers, caring people, amazing humanitarians. Do good while being bad. Read Coming Together!
  24. Sitting on a panel with author Scott Sigler and David Moldawer (editor at Penguin Books). They are very big names. I am very small. Yet I got to moderate on the subject of e-publishing for the small screen, and managed to not sound like an idiot. Almost makes me think I can run with the big dogs.
  25. Erotica readings. I got to do two this weekend, and the room was full both times. To all the people who came to listen, ask questions, and (absolutely astonishing) ask for my autograph, thank you, thank you, thank you. You made me feel very special.
  26. Babies. Certain people have some of the cutest babies (and there are two cuties in particular I love). You guys know you are! I’m jonesing now for a third bambino after seeing such cuddly cootness!
  27. Chatting about cartoons with Gutshot. A simple conversation about one of my favorite pastimes with someone who is obviously talented in that department. He also has the nicest collection of hats and a verra lovely kilt!
  28. Mae Breakall’s t-shirt. Also Mistress Jett’s modified tee. If you saw these shirts, you know what I mean. If you missed them, I pity you. They were hot!
  29. Coming home to a bit of blood and a minor crisis. Okay, another weird moment to put on the favorites list, but after four surreal days roaming a con on my own, coming home to see the Hubster soothing crying children and taking care of the mess made me feel oh-so-glad and extremely luck to be married to the most wonderful man in the world. Plus, the boo boo in question gave me extra reasons to cuddle with my youngest and listen to my oldest explain how she helped take care of her sister. The chatter and love of little girls, along with the calm confidence of the man of my dreams are a couple of things I really missed this weekend. Next year, I’m doing everything I can to get my whole family up to the con!

There are many, many more things on my list of favs, but honestly, the whole damn weekend was just about one of the best things I’ve experienced in a long time. Many, many thanks to Paul Fischer for including me on the new media track this year, to Nobilis for recommending me, to Martha for trusting me to moderate her panel, and to everyone who smiled and put up with the annoying tag-along known better known as Helen E. H. Madden. And especially, always, thank you Michael. The Hubster let me run away to the circus for the weekend and did an outstanding job taking care of our children while I was wrong. I love you, stud!

After Balticon, I Came Home To Blood…

I had the absolute best time at Balticon this weekend. I will give you the details later. Probably tomorrowish later. But right now, I want to share what awaited me when I got home this evening. (Be warned, this is a little gross.)

First, there was this in the kitchen…

…apparently caused by this blunt object…

…which landed on this little tootsie…

Apparently Pixie went into the pantry while no one was looking and grabbed a can of ice tea which she immediately dropped on her foot, rim first. While she screamed bloody murder, Princess ran and found the Hubster, who then spent several minutes chasing after a shrieking Pixie, then calming and staunching the flow of blood. She ran pretty far, so there was blood all over the kitchen floor, the living room carpet, and the love seat, the stairs and the kids bathroom. Hubster was wet vaccuuming the carpet and love seat when I got home. Princess gave me all the gory details… several times in a row.

It doesn’t look like any permanent damage was done. Pixie was running around on it only a short while later. But we’ll probably spend tomorrow at the doctor’s office and I have no idea when I’ll be able to get a shoe on that foot.

But anyway, I’m glad to be home, bloody sweet home, and I owe the Hubster so frikkin’ much for letting me take this weekend off that it’s not eve funny. Hope everyone made it home safe from Balticon, and had slightly less bloody surprises waiting for them when they walked in the door.