The Adventures Of Cynical Woman – Page 4 – The Cynical Woman Website

ACW Episode 282 – Run, Princess, Run!!

By Cynical Woman November 12, 2015 November 12, 2015 Cartoon, Family, Kids, Princess, Running, The Adventures Of Cynical Woman

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Yes, it took me forever to get this one done. I apologize. I started this at the beginning of October, which turned out to be one of the busiest months I’ve had to deal with in a loooooooong time. It was so busy and so hectic, in fact, that I look forward to the peace and quiet of Girl Scout cookie season.

Yes, I actually said that. And now I’ve put it in writing.

What kept me so busy? Well, Girl Scouts was one part of it. In addition to our troop meetings, we also had an archery trip and a murder mystery party. Then there was Halloween and All Saints Day. The girls attend Catholic school, and this year Pixie’s class held a “Courtyard of Saints,” where all the students dressed up as different saints and gave a sort of living history presentation. Pixie was Mother Teresa, so I spent a week sewing that costume for her. And then, since we can’t visit one end of the spectrum without seeing the other, I also had to sew her a Kylo Ren costume for Halloween. Princess wanted to be a Jedi, so there was that to sew. And of course, I was busy working on the October Crochet challenge. But what kept me busiest of all in October was…

Cross Country.

Princess was encouraged by her friends to join, and I’m very glad she did, because it was a great experience for her. She went from barely being able to run a mile to running 3 miles, and over the course of the month shaved 4 minutes off her mile run time. Thankfully, though, the Cross Country season ended before Halloween, because practice was 3 days a week with a race on top of that, so just about every day after school, we were running somewhere for 2 hours at a time. Well, Princess was running. I opted to do lawn work at the school (we do school service hours every year), or drive kids to races and chaperon at events. It was time-consuming, to say the least.

But now Cross Country is over, and November’s challenge is drawing, so I’m going to get back to regular work on the webcomic. I can’t promise weekly updates, but I certainly think I can do better than once a month!

Enjoy the webcomic! Later today, I’ll post another update for the November drawing challenge.

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ACW Episode 281 – Tomatoes!

By Cynical Woman October 5, 2015 October 4, 2015 Cartoon, The Adventures Of Cynical Woman, web comic, webcomic

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It took me about as long to draw this webcomic as it did to find a recipe for my tomatoes. Thankfully, webcomics do not go all green and fuzzy unless you draw them that way.

I spent yesterday working on Pixie’s Mother Teresa costume and planning how I’m going to survive the next month. I love October, but this one is going to be very busy. I have a troop meeting to hold, a trip to the archery range, and a mystery party to plan and host, all for Girl Scouts. Not to mention I promised a certain couple of someones that I would let them have a Halloween slumber party. Aaaaaand I still have more tomatoes to cook.

Anyway, I’m going to crochet for a bit now, and hopefully post the results later tonight. Have fun!

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ACW Episode 280 – Mamas, don’t let your kitties grow up to be rockets

By Cynical Woman September 4, 2015 September 4, 2015 Cartoon, Pets, The Adventures Of Cynical Woman, web comic, webcomic

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This happens. A lot. It’s mainly just the Jelly Bean and Marmalade, the Stinko-Twins. One of them jumps up on the couch while I’m working and a huge, smelly cloud follows them. Thankfully our other cat, Hiccup, is too… “laid back” to launch himself via any means. Okay, he really just doesn’t like to move.

The kids are finally back in school. Princess has started Cross Country which means I’m going to be busy four afternoons a week, and when Pixie’s Girl Scout troop starts up, that means I’ll be busy five afternoons a week. I’m going to have to find some portable work to bring with me. Unless, of course, I’m drafted to volunteer with either group.

Anyway, I hope everyone is having a wonderful, stink-free holiday weekend! Now back to your regularly scheduled life.

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ACW Episode 279 – Don’t drink and paint

By Cynical Woman August 14, 2015 August 14, 2015 Art, Cartoon, The Adventures Of Cynical Woman, Traditional, web comic, webcomic

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I had the opportunity last month to go out for a little “me” time. A local tea shop hosted a “Pinot & Painting” night, and it was fantastic! They served grown-up treats – cheese fondue, a chocolate fountain with strawberries, etc. And best of all, they had WINE!

I only had one glass, but let me tell you, when you are painting at a table with a dozen other women, and you’re all drinking wine and you all have cups of paint water sitting right next to you, it’s very easy to confuse the wine and the paint water. Until you drink it, that is. Then you realize you have made a horrible, horrible mistake.

Anyhoo, I had a lovely evening painting, although I must confess, the subject matter the instructor choose for painting was not exactly to my taste. She brought a reference photo of some local waterfowl. While her demo painting looked very nice, mine ended up looking more like the promotional poster for a movie entitled, “Psycho Ducks of DOOOOOOOOOOOM!”

“Psycho Ducks of DOOOOOOM!” coming to a theater near you!

Again, this is not a subject matter I would normally paint. My paintings usually look more like this…

“The Twisted Lip” by Helen E. H. Madden

Or they look something like this…

Work in progress – “Fight Like A Girl (Black Widow) by Helen E. H. Madden

This last painting is one of a series that I’m doing for Pixie’s room. I found some images on the web of Black Widow, Katniss Everdeen, etc. I ran the images through Photoshop to break them down into basic colors and add the caption and background color. Then I traced that image onto the canvas. Now I’m doing a little DIY paint-by-numbers, matching the colors from my Photoshopped image as I paint. Not my most artistic work, but these paintings will look nice in Pixie’s room when they’re all done.

So yeah, crazy waterfowl are not my usual subject matter for painting. Although I could see doing a painting of Howard the Duck for our living room. Hmmmmmm… Maybe “Psychotic Ducks of DOOOOOOM!” belongs on my walls after all.

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ACW Episode 278 – I have 1980s hair!

By Cynical Woman July 29, 2015 July 29, 2015 Cartoon, Family, Hubster, Marriage, The Adventures Of Cynical Woman, web comic, webcomic

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YES! I had all my hair cut off! I just couldn’t stand it anymore. It was too hot for the summer and the neighborhood life guards keep over-chlorinating the pool, so my hair was a bit frazzled. But now it’s shorter than it’s been in a long while. In fact, last time it was this short was the late 1980s/early 1990s. I used to spray this bright metallic red hair spray on my hair, so everyone said I looked like Annie Lennox back then. So I was cool with going back to that style. But then I slept on my new hair cut for a night and woke up looking like a Flock of Seagulls had nested on my head. I thankfully managed to fix that.

I know I should post a pic of what my hair looks like now, but I haven’t had time to take one yet. I’ll get to that at some point. Right now, I’m busy keeping up with the kids for summer break. Hopefully, you all are having a nice, relaxing summer.

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ACW Episode 277 – School’s out!

By Cynical Woman July 20, 2015 July 19, 2015 Cartoon, Family, Karate, The Adventures Of Cynical Woman

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So, I’m a little late getting this one up. I mean, it’s the middle of July and I’m talking about the end of school, so yeah, a little late. But this one was actually too good (in my opinion) to not draw and post. And yes, this actually happened. The kids finished up with school in time for us to drive 2 1/2 days to Milwaukee so we could spend 4 days doing nothing but karate. And then we spent a day visiting with family in Chicago, and then we spent another 2 days driving home. And I was soooooooooo exhausted when we got home. But we did survive and make it home, so there’s that.

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ACW Episode 276 – When the outfit matches the hair

By Cynical Woman July 6, 2015 July 6, 2015 Cartoon, Hubster, The Adventures Of Cynical Woman, web comic, webcomic

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At our Girl Scout troop meeting last week, we made tie-dye t-shirts. And yes, I ended up with one that matched my hair. It kind of startles people for some reason.

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ACW Episode 275 – Like Mother, Like Daughter

By Cynical Woman June 28, 2015 July 2, 2015 Cartoon, Family, Kids, Pixie Toons, The Adventures Of Cynical Woman, web comic, webcomic

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Apparently my daughters share my tastes in movies… books… comics… feminism…

UPDATE: The response to this particular episode was so strong, I went ahead and set it up as a print on Society 6. You can buy a copy here.

I also set it up as a coffee mug, so enjoy!

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ACW Episode 274 – Grinding and the Minecraft Life

By Cynical Woman June 1, 2015 June 1, 2015 Bitching & Moaning, Cartoon, Family, House Cleaning, The Adventures Of Cynical Woman, web comic, webcomic

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The kids and I started playing Minecraft a couple months ago, and life will never be the same. Pixie seems to love the game the most, and she has spent quite a few hours at my desktop building houses and mining for ore and catching chickens, etc.

For me, the game has a rather ironic feel. I’ve been reading articles on productivity and recently came across this one on grinding in games versus grinding in real life. I realize that in real life, grinding translates to the everyday tasks I hate to do – laundry, dishes, making the bed, etc. I can get away with not doing most grinding tasks for long periods of time (for example, I dust the house maybe once a year). And some grinding tasks I’ve been able to pass on to the kids (I make them clean their own bathrooms, sort their own laundry, etc.). But there are some grinding chores that have to be done daily, and I hate them, because these are the most futile tasks. Cleaning the kitchen is especially miserable for me. I can spend an entire afternoon washing dishes and scrubbing down the counters, only to have all that hard work go “POOF!” the moment another family member enters the room. The kids make a mess every time they grab a snack. And when Hubster cooks, he can turn the kitchen into a disaster area beyond even FEMA’s scope to fix. (Okay, yeah, FEMA doesn’t have the best reputation for fixing things, but you know what I mean).

So I’ve been trying to find a way to turn these grinding chores into something that either seems more enjoyable, less miserable, or more productive. I haven’t succeeded yet, but I will keep trying.

In the meantime though, yeah, I live with a bunch of creepers. Really messy creepers.

Pray for me.

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ACW Episode 273 – What a crock!

By Cynical Woman May 4, 2015 May 4, 2015 Cartoon, Family, House Cleaning, Hubster, Marriage, The Adventures Of Cynical Woman, web comic, webcomic

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I can spend hours cleaning the kitchen, only to have it destroyed by one man making one meal. And yes, this conversation actually happened. He’s lucky to be alive.