ACW Episode 53 – Sleepwear (plus how to make a comic strip)

Just one more example of how exciting the life of an erotica writer really is 😉

I thought I might show you all how I put together the Adventures of Cynical Woman web comics. I’m sure you’re all just fascina– Hey! Get back here! I’m not done talking to you yet!

Where was I? Oh yes, how I put the comic strips together. First, I need an idea. This week’s idea was inspired by an e-mail interview I did with a journalist who wanted to know how I write erotica. I mentioned that some nights I curl up in bed with my laptop to write my stories, but that wasn’t nearly as sexy as it sounded because I always wear flannel PJs and tuck a heating pad under my feet. This particular erotica author does NOT like to be cold.

So I had my idea. Next, I needed to script it out and draw a quick thumbnail sketch of what the panels would look like. I do this step in a notebook I keep just for the cartoons. Here’s what the idea sketch and script look like.

Very fascinating, right? Right! Anyway, once I know what I’m writing and drawing, I set up a sheet of paper on my handy dandy drawing board.

The drawing board is actually a piece of foam core with some white poster-board taped over it for a smooth drawing surface. I use a low tack tape to attach the paper, and then use a mechanical pencil and T-square to draft out the panels. I always draw in red pencil. You’ll see why in a bit.

Next, I roughly sketch in where each of the characters and props are going to go in each panel. This is nothing fancy, just stick figures and basic shapes to help me determine how much room each character will need in the panel and still leave room for the word balloons and text.

Then I start to draw a detailed sketch for each panel, again using the same mechanical pencil with red lead.

I like to do a fairly detailed drawing so I know exactly what I have to ink. Once the final sketching is done, I pull out a brush pen (I use Faber Castell brush markers; they’re the best!) and I ink the cartoon. For the borders and fine line work and cross hatching, I use a Faber Castell technical pen or a Micron Pigma pen.

Once I’ve got the inking done, I scan the cartoon into the computer via Photoshop. I have to do it in two pieces, since I use a very big piece of paper for the cartoon. I don’t bother erasing the red pencil marks because I don’t have to. I simply delete the red color channels from my image once it’s been scanned in and then convert the whole thing to grey scale. Voila! No more red pencil, just black ink.

Once everything is scanned in, I use Photoshop to pull it all together. I have a blank comic template set up with all the credits and titles already in it, as well as guidelines set up to help me line up the artwork. I use the text tool and the pen/shape tools to add the text and word balloons. For the final touch, I add two extra layers to the image, one for black areas and one for white high lights. I’ve found it’s easier and cleaner for me to add black areas to the cartoon in Photoshop than to do it by hand, so certain things like the laptop in this cartoon or the Hubster’s hair will be blacked in then, with another layer set up for white highlights on top of that.

Once it’s all done, I flatten all the layers in Photoshop, scale the image down, and then put it in a blog post for the website. The whole process takes anywhere from 2-4 hours, depending on how detailed the cartoon is, or how tired I am that day. Today I was beat, so between that and putting together this little behind-the-scenes look, I probably spent about 4 1/2 hours on this total.

Anyway, that’s how it’s done. Now aren’t you glad you hung around to read all that? Wasn’t that just fascinating? Hello? Hellooooooo…

I can hear you breathing, you know.

Don’t forget, episode 03 of Rats! runs this Thursday on www.cynicalwoman.com!

Rats! Episode 02 – AAAAAUGH!

This was exactly what happened when my parents first abandoned dropped me off at Virginia Tech in 1987. Mom and Dad helped me get everything unpacked and into my room and then they turned me over to this crazed bunch of psychopaths that I was pretty sure had every intention of killing me slowly via that form of torture known as the push-up. And yeah, I was pretty scared about that.

This was not the first time away from home for me. I’d been to various summer camps and had even spent six weeks in Ireland as part of a study abroad program when I was sixteen. This was, however, the first time I’d been left in a situation I did not want to be in. Camp? Sure, I could do that. Ireland? I jumped at the chance. Virginia Tech Corps of Cadets? Hells no, I did not want to join that freaky outfit!

Except that I did, because back then I could not argue with my Dad and win. He was determined that I take ROTC at whatever school I went to. Little did I know that Virginia Tech had this mini-military academy stuck in the middle of the student body, and that I could not, COULD NOT, take ROTC without joining said mini-military academy. Oh, was my Dad overjoyed to hear this! Oh, did I so want to be run over by a bus before the start of my first semester of school.

But that didn’t happen and so away I went to Tech, where my parents and I were pleasantly greeted by a group of smiling, friendly upper class-men. And you better believe the nice act stopped the moment my mom and dad got into the car and drove away.

Again, my life back then was painfully funny. Emphasis on the painful part.

What’s painful now though is to look at the original cartoons. For the life of me, I have no frikkin’ clue why the Collegiate Times ran these damn things. They must have been desperate for content is all I can think of. I spent quite a bit of time cleaning up both this week’s and last week’s cartoons – adding proper borders, erasing stray marks, redoing the text on the computer, etc. Here’s what the original cartoon looks like…

Pretty scary, huh? I knew so little about drawing comic strips, it never even occurred to me to draw borders all the way around each panel. I just did those little crossbars things and left it at that. Duh. As for the lettering? Well, this comic strip was drawn so long ago, we didn’t have scanners to get the artwork into the computer, so adding the lettering in a graphics program would have been a moot point.

Regardless of how badly I drew these first cartoons, the CT ran them, for which I am forever grateful. Now more than 20 years later, I get to clean them up and run them again. I hope you enjoy.

ACW Episode 52 – My very adult weekend

I know, I know. Today’s cartoon went up late, but there was a reason why. I left Friday morning for Marscon, and was gone all weekend. And yes indeedy, I did have several late night panels which have left me shambling about like one of the living dead. But that’s not why today’s cartoon was late. Today’s cartoon was late because…

It’s all the HUBSTER’S fault!!

Yes, Saint Michael the Magnificent did something truly amazing. He decided to upgrade both my laptop and my desktop this past weekend while I was gone. Now I knew about the laptop. That poor machine has been limping along like nobody’s business the last six months, and I knew while I was away Hubster was going to pull out the old hard drive, install a new one, and reinstall all my software. I knew this. What I did not know was that he also planned to upgrade the operating system on my desktop from Vista to Windows 7.

When I came home Sunday night, both machines were still undergoing upgrades. No big deal. I was too tired to do any work that evening anyway. But on Monday morning, they were both still down. Now I was starting to get a little antsy because in addition to getting today’s cartoon drawn and scanned in, I also had a bit of cover art to finish off for a client and a podcast to finish assembling for Radio Dentata. Both those projects were on the desktop, which I had not been expecting to be under repair. Thus I had not copied the necessary files to my handy thumbdrive in case I needed to use another computer to finish the work. In fact, I couldn’t have used those files on the laptop until the upgraded hard drive was installed anyway, because I think putting anything else on the laptop probably would have killed that machine deader than a doornail. So I had left everything on the desktop, which I knew would back up automatically onto the external hard drive, and went my merry way on Friday thinking I’d be able to get back to work when I got home.

Hubster kept working on both machines all through yesterday. By yesterday evening, they still weren’t finished. In fact, the desktop appeared to have hung itself around the 62% point of the Windows 7 upgrade. It wouldn’t go any further no matter how hard I swore at it. The laptop was almost done, but it didn’t have the files I needed to finish my work, plus it wasn’t connected to my scanner so I couldn’t scan in the cartoon I had managed to draw yesterday. You see, I was on schedule, but got derailed by technical difficulties.

Hubster finally got me set with the laptop very early this morning. The desktop finally hung itself and crashed mid upgrade on Windows 7, so he rolled it back to Vista. Now at 3PM, nine hours later than usual, I can finally post this week’s Adventures of Cynical Woman. Hubster tells me he will wait until the next time I go to a con before he attempts to upgrade to Windows 7 again. I told him fine, but let’s make sure we’ve got a back up in place.

You know, just in case.

Don’t forget, my new/old comic Rats! runs again this Thursday and every Thursday from here on out! If you missed the first episode, you can see it here.

Rats! Episode 01 – How did I get here?!

A long time ago (back in 1989, to be exact), in a galaxy far, far away (Blacksburg, Virginia), there was a 20-year-old college student who had nothing better to do with her time than sit and draw cartoons about the Virginia Tech Cadet Corps, of which she was a member.

No, I’m not kidding, I was actually a cadet in college. I wore a uniform everyday, had room inspections and PT, and I even had an Army ROTC scholarship.

I was a lousy cadet, which should surprise no one. Back then, I had yet to develop a passion for fitness, so all the running and push ups and hauling around of 50 lbs of equipment on my back was pretty much my own personal version of Hell. And you just know I had problems with authority. Plus I had no prior experience with the military, in spite of the fact that my dad was career Army (every time he discussed work, yours truly pretty much tuned out). That meant I was completely clueless about things like saluting and marching and singing jodies, etc. Yet in spite of all that, I somehow made it through four years of ROTC and the Cadet Corps, which was like being in a military academy tucked inside the civilian student body (probably somewhere around where the gall bladder would be… get it? Tucked inside the student body, near the gall bladder… oh never mind).

The four years I spent at Virginia Tech were some of the most exhausting, frustrating, and painful times of my life. And yet they were also hysterically funny. After two years in the Corps, I started drawing cartoons about what it was like to be a rat; that is, a freshman cadet. No matter how much I advanced through college and the Corps, I always felt like a rat — confused, hopelessly lost, distracted, and frazzled. Not much has changed since those days, really.

I drew four years worth of Rats! for the Virginia Tech Collegiate Times. That was two strips a week for nine months of the year. Last weekend, I dug through my closet and found all my old strips. Some are in pretty bad condition and need serious restoration. Most are just fine, though. None of these have ever been published anywhere but in the CT, and then not since 1993, the year I finally stopped drawing Rats! and got married and moved on with my life.

I hope you enjoy Rats! You’ll be seeing it here every Thursday until I run through all the original strips. I figure that should take three years. I’ll be running the cartoons in chronological order, so what happens in the strip probably won’t match up with what’s going on the real world (i.e. strips drawn for Christmas or Spring Break will appear when they turn up in the order they were drawn, and not necessarily at Christmas or Spring Break). So sit back and enjoy. You’re about to get a sneak peek at four of the wildest years of my life.

ACW Episode 51 – Cleaning up and an announcement

To be honest, the kids did not throw Baby Jesus.

They threw the Virgin Mary. And they didn’t throw her so much as they smacked her around then threw her across the room during a game of “Pirates, Ninjas and Zombies,” wherein the girls use all their Fischer Price Little People, including the Nativity set, to act out some sort of bizarre post-apocalyptic scenario on the living room floor.

Now I know it seems strange that I, the family Buddhist/atheist, would be the one to complain about tossing Bible figures around the house, but you must understand. While I am not a practitioner of any religion (and Buddhism is not religion, since it makes no mention of a deity), I do feel it’s only polite to show respect for those who do believe, and to not desecrate the symbols of their religion. A lot of wars could be averted if only we all showed each other a bit of respect, regardless of each other’s race, creed, gender, sexual preference, political persuasion and religion.

Besides, getting hit in the back of the head by a flying Fischer Price Virgin Mary really hurts.

Starting this Thursday, I will begin posting episodes in a new series. Well, actually it’s an old series, something I drew waaaaaay back in the day before there were such things as “web” comics. Keep your eyes peeled, watch this space, and stay tuned. On Thursday, Rats! begins.

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Episode 50 – We have to ask…

No, seriously. This question has been asked repeatedly by both girls since Christmas morning. Oy vey…

And yes, Princess did get an archery set. If you ever come over to visit, watch yourself!

Hope everybody had a good holiday. My New Year’s resolutions for cartooning are to continue to turn out one Adventures of Cynical Woman cartoon a week, and to dig out an old project to share. More on that later this week (assuming I can find said old project).

Episode 49 – When I’m bad…

Oh yes, I’ve written much, much worse, as a matter of fact 😉 Like the gay Santa story that comes out Christmas Day on the Heat Flash Erotica Podcast. Though if you’re in a hurry to hear that little gem, you could listen to it on Radio Dentata Christmas Eve.

I’m headed out of town on Monday to visit family, so don’t know if I will have a cartoon ready before I go. Hopefully yes, but you and I both know that train wreck known as Christmas is coming on fast, ready to run me over and squash me flat. We’ll see what happens, but if you don’t see anything from me between now and New Year’s Eve, merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, happy Kwanzaa and a bounteous Bodhi Day to you and yours.

Random Cartoon! Hair we are on Babylon 5

The Adventures of Cynical Woman is far from being my first cartoon. I think I’ve been cartooning as long as I can remember. I drew comics for the Collegiate Times at Virginia Tech for four years! I drew several comics on my own, to sell and give away to friends. I’ve always cartooned, I tell you. Then yesterday, while flipping through some old sketch books, I found this cartoon, which for some reason I never showed off anywhere – not online, not in a college newspaper, etc. I still think it’s hysterically funny, but then I was a dyed in the wool Babylon 5 geek 😉

Again, hysterically funny if you’re a B5 geek. If not, I have no idea what you’ll think of it.

Maybe I’ll dig out more old cartoons and start posting them here…

Episode 48 – Is this a trick question?

Oh yes she did!

Last week, a few days after I had posted episode 47, I was busy folding laundry when I noticed Pixie had some strange greyish stains on her arms. I went to check on her and thought, “Hmm. These stains look suspiciously like washed off paint or… INK?!”

You see, I had pulled out a bottle of India Ink the weekend before, to experiment with for the cartoon. And I had left said bottle on my art desk, where I do all my cartooning. Now, Pixie knows she’s not supposed to touch anything on that art desk. However, Murphy’s law states…

Oh hell, you know what Murphy’s law states. And we all know Murphy was a damned optimist! Anyway, I raced to my bedroom to check my desk, and sure enough, there were solid black ink stains everywhere, including on the cartoon I had drawn last week. It was at this point that I vaguely recalled having seen Pixie in the bathroom diligently washing her hands, and I also recalled thinking at the time, “Well that’s nice! She’s finally listening to all those lectures I gave her on washing her hands after going potty!”

Yeah, I know. I’m an idiot sometimes.

The damage wasn’t too bad, certainly not as bad as I’ve painted it in the cartoon above. But this isn’t the first time little Miss Pixie has gotten into something she shouldn’t have and then proceeded to get it all over the place. Right after the Hubster spent a week painting the walls downstairs, she grabbed a piece of bright blue chalk and colored on his paint job. I guess ecru low gloss wasn’t to her taste. Other times I have found marker on the window sills, and on her clothing, and on her face. Oh, and ball point pen shows up in the most interesting places around here. The kid’s a menace, I tell ya. A real tiny vandel!

But then so was I. Maybe this is how Pixie learns to become an artist, hmm? That or drive me crazy!

Did I mention India Ink is permanent? Oy!

Episode 47 – ‘Tis the season to give!

Am I the only person who has this problem? Am I the only person who’s living room turns into gift box city every December? Am I the only one clambering over cardboard crates shipped from every major retailer known to mankind, whilst trying to reach the TV or my kids?

Please, for love of Pete, tell me I’m not the only one.

To say my mother likes to shop would be like saying the Grand Canyon is kind of deep, or Niagra Falls is kind of wet. The woman works simply so she can buy gifts for her grandchildren. She has actually said as much to my face! Thus we get a steady flow of packages all year long, but in December, the flood gates open and suddenly I can’t find my couch!

Oy. It’s already started. We’ve got boxes everywhere, and I know more are on the way. Somebody help me, please!