I Have A New Blog On Writing Erotica

Just because I don’t have enough to do with my time…

Actually, it’s because I need a proper venue for discussing erotica writing and art. I added a blog to my erotica website HelenEHMadden.com. I’ll be using this blog to discuss what’s going on with my writing and artwork, plus as a place to discuss what I see going on in the world with regards to sex and erotica. The rest of the site includes an art gallery (mostly male nudes) and will have a story gallery up by the end of this month. Stop by for a visit if you’re so inclined!

I Got A Life!

Last Monday, while my folks were still visiting, I dragged Michael out to see Great Big Sea. Talk about amazing! It’s been years since I’ve been to a concert, and I can’t recall the last time Michael and I went out on a date, so you can only imagine how happy I was to get out of the house. Great Big Sea is wonderful, a Newfoundland band that plays traditional folk music with a hard rock beat. They also have plenty of original music that they play as well. Funniest part of the show? When the lead singer admitted they once opened for Barney the Dinosaur and bombed. “When Barney’s fans come to see him, they don’t want to see no one else! They cry if someone else comes on stage. They soil themselves and throw tantrums!” Ain’t that the truth?

So the concert was great, as was the convention I went to this past weekend. Yes, that’s right. I went to a science fiction convention. RavenCon must be the first sci-fi convention I’ve gone to outside of Marscon in over five years. I spent most of my time either at the artist panels or at the pod-casting panels. The artist panels were a huge boost for me, as I don’t normally get a chance to discuss making art, digital or otherwise, with other folks. I got several handy tips on improving my life drawing, plus lots of encouragement to keep working. As for the pod-casting panels, they were probably some of the best panels I’ve ever attended. There was a lot of technical detail there, but the fellow running it was Tee Morris, one of the authors of “Podcasting For Dummies.” I’m interested in starting a podcast right now as a means to promote the e-book I’ve got coming out. We’ll see what I can come up with.

Anyway, I’ve been out of the house twice in two weeks to attend two very different social events. Michael paid for both outings, and handled the kids at RavenCon, so I owe him big time. Remember, you can’t buy child care that good, you gotta sleep with it! Not that I’m complaining. Michael is a stud.

I’m off to work!

Book Lust vs. Writing Lust

A month or so ago, I bought a book reading journal. It’s very cool. The title of the journal is Book Lust, and it’s full of blank entries for me to record all the books I read. Each entry has a space for the title, the author, and the date I read the book, and then a page of space for my comments on what I thought of the book. I was really excited about this idea of recording what I’ve been reading, because lately I’ve changed interests. I grew up on a steady diet of science fiction and fantasy. In the last few years I’ve added horror and historical mystery to that as well. But very recently I’ve dropped all that for more “literary” stuff. By literary I mean I’ve been picking books that show up either on the NY Times bestseller list or on the “What’s New” shelf at the library and book store.

It’s quite a change, like suddenly going from eating meat to being a vegetarian. But I like it. I was getting tired of reading a lot of the same stuff over and over again, to the point where I had quit reading all together because I couldn’t bring myself to pick up another sci-fi book. Of course, I don’t always like what I pick up in the “literary” section either, but then I made a deal with myself. If I don’t take a shine to a book within the first two chapters, I don’t have to keep reading. This means I’m getting most of my books from the library, because I can’t afford to buy a bunch of books and then put them down after two chapters, but my local library does keep a pretty good selection, so I’m good.

One of the things I’m most interested in reading right now are books put out by the major publishing houses that are billed as “erotic.” Now you know I write erotica, so I have very particular ideas about what is and isn’t erotic. To me, an erotic story means a tale with sexually explicit writing whose purpose is to arouse the reader. There is no “fade to black” when the sex takes place. There are also no veiled euphemisms or purple prose used to describe sex acts and genitalia. Things like that only smother what’s erotic. They don’t add any value at all.

So I’m reading what the big wigs in the publishing industry consider to be erotic. And my conclusion is these guys have no frikkin’ clue about what’s erotic. I’m not saying the books I’ve read are bad. One book I read, Vertigo by Lauren Baratz-Logsted, was actually quite good. Vertigo is the story of Emma, a Victorian housewife, who makes a resolution one year to be a better person. Her husband, a novelist working on a book about prisons, suggests Emma write letters to a prisoner he’s met during his research, to boost the man’s morale and act as a friend. Of course, Emma falls in love the prisoner, named Chance Wood, and the rest of the story focuses on their affair and Emma’s discovery of her sexuality. The book was interesting, thrilling and suspenseful in fact. I do not think it was erotic though. There were sex scenes in the book, and to Ms. Baratz-Logsted’s credit, she covered sex acts that most folks won’t discuss even in the privacy of their own bedroom. But the way she wrote those scenes made them seem wooden and dull. Again, I blame the use of euphemism and purple prose. She came close to going into detail about what was going on, but never really hit the target. It was like watching ants mate – biologically interesting perhaps, but in no way arousing to me.

I have this fear that all the “erotic” big sellers I intend to read are going to be like that, and it annoys the hell out of me. Why won’t people write about sex in a way that shows how exciting it can really be? We write about murder and violence with so much abandon, but sex? No, we can’t do that. Or maybe I should say, they can’t do that. You know I can. I do it all the time. In fact, I’ll be busting my ass today to finish up a short story I intend to submit to Best Women’s Erotica 2008. An older woman with a porn addiction seduces a much younger man. Hot stuff. And you better believe that the sex scenes are explicit. In fact, I have more sex scenes in this one 7,000 word short story than Lauren Baratz-Logsted had in her entire book, a fact I find to be quite funny. And once I’m done writing this short story, I’ll be starting on another erotica book. I’ve been e-mailing my editor at Mojocastle Press about some ideas I have and she’s very gung-ho, so I’m feeling pretty good these days. In fact, I’m feeling like a professional writer, which feels better than I ever possibly imagined it could feel.

I love reading. I love writing. I may never get published by a big printing house like some folks, but that’s okay. I love getting up each morning and knowing that I’m going to be doing the stuff I want to do. So life is good, folks. Life is very good.

I’m Tired…

To quote Madeline Khan, “Everything from the neck down is ka-puht!”

I don’t know why, but I’ve really been dragging the last few weeks. Okay, maybe I do know why. Sam still wakes up 2-3 times a night, thus completely disrupting my sleep. Although last night she slept straight through, miraculously enough, so I was able to get up before 5AM and get going. I like getting up before 5. I like being dressed and ready to go and having the house to myself for a brief time before anyone else is up and moving. I really like getting a jump on my day. It makes a huge difference in me getting stuff done.

But I’ve been dragging, sleeping late almost every morning, and then falling back to sleep when I nurse Sam, and then taking a nap while she’s napping, etc., etc. So not much has been getting done around here.

Hopefully this will all be changing soon. Last weekend I went to EPICon (a href=”http://www.epic-conference.com/”) and for the first time ever got to spend time talking to other erotica writers face to face. I’ve been writing on my own for so long I’d forgotten what it was like to talk to other writers. And I’ve never had the opportunity to talk to other erotica writers. It was very motivating, I have to say. No, even better than motivating. I’m suddenly ready to tear up the writing world with my stories, and I have a million ideas to get down on paper and I can’t wait to get started on them all…

Except that I’m so damned tired!

Oh well. Hopefully last night was not a fluke and Sam will sleep straight through again tonight. We’ll see.

My Real New Year’s Resolutions

Okay, forget the “no eating anything larger than my head” list. This is the real deal. Right now, I’m sitting in the glider, nursing a seven month old bundle of LUV, and I’m thinking about the upcoming year. I’m only a little sleep deprived (Sam woke up twice last night, Cassie once), so I should be clear-headed enough to write something coherent.

Resolution #1: Do less. Yep, you heard me. I resolve to do less. Usually, at the beginning of a quarter or a new year, I usually put together a long list of projects that I want to complete, along with a detailed plan of how to do them. I do have the list, and it’s pretty long – a series of short stories, a novel to begin work on, some computer graphics, some animation, and oh, I promised Rick some illustrations for his video – but I am actually looking at doing less. How, you may ask? Normally, I work on a couple of projects at once. I dedicate my morning work hours to writing, my afternoon work hours to graphics and animation. Not doing that any more. I’m working on one project at a time, and only one. Sometimes a project may get interrupted, like say a short story with a tight deadline may take priority over the novel I’m working on. But that’s okay. I’ll finish the short story and go back to the novel. My hope is that by focusing my efforts on a single project at a time, I’ll actually accomplish more, not less. I plan to do this for at least six weeks. By the end of February, we’ll see if it’s worked or not.

Resolution #2: Draw a little every night. Even if it’s only for fifteen minutes. I’m not talking masterpieces here either. I want to do a little cartooning, a little doodling. Some of these cartoons may end up in my new paint program, Art Rage (it was only $20 and it works like a charm!) and get the full on treatment. We’ll see. But all I really want to do is fill a sketch book, maybe even several sketch books over the course of the year. Who knows what might come of this? At least I’ll be drawing.

Resolution #3: Set aside a little time every day to think and daydream. Thinking and daydreaming are the foundation of everything I do, especially the writing and the art. I bought a bunch of composition notebooks yesterday and labeled them all with the names of stories and ideas that I want to work on. I’d like to take some time each afternoon to just sit at a table with a cup of coffee and write out ideas for those projects in the notebook. J. K. Rowling actually writes in notebook at a café, and I love that idea. I can’t afford the café, but I can make my own coffee at home and write there. This way I can capture all those wonderful story ideas that keep popping into my head without actually doing more than one project at a time. I just give myself 15-20 minutes or so each afternoon to write in a notebook. This will hopefully save my sanity.

Resolution #4: Do a little physical therapy every day. Even doing just two exercises a day would be a huge help to my knees. And I need my knees, if I want to get down on the floor and play with my kids.

Resolution #5: Learn to relax and enjoy my family. If there’s anything I suck at, it’s taking time off and spending it with my husband and kids. I just about went crazy this holiday having Cassie and Michael home for ten days straight. I felt positively ill because I could not find time to sit and work while all the holiday stuff was going on. How wrong is that, I ask? I need to figure out how to take time off from writing and actually enjoy it. I need to remember that my family is my first priority, and work is a distant second. I don’t know how I will accomplish this, but somehow, I’ll figure it out.

Okay, I think that’s plenty of resolutions for now. I don’t want to add any more to my plate. And hopefully, some of these resolutions will take some things off of my plate.

Must Have Been Something I Said

We went to the pediatrician on Wednesday for a follow up appointment for Cassie. That makes seven visits in two weeks. The pediatrician joked that she was going to start charging me rent, I spent so much time there. I said I was just going to find an empty office space nearby and set up shop there. That way I could write between doctor visits. That led to her asking how my writing was going, and she was overjoyed when I told her I had a contract for my pornographic novel.

“Is that what you write?” she exclaimed. When I said yes, she grinned and asked if I wrote from experience.

“Oh god no,” I replied. “I’m not a gay man.”

She laughed so hard she almost couldn’t walk out of the examining room.

Artwork For Writing Website

I have to put together a writing website now that I’ve sold a book. Here’s a sample of the artwork I’ve been putting together. This is going to be the side bar. The red roses will be the navigation buttons, with pop up text explaining what each one is for.

Sick And Teething

Cassie is home for the third day in a row with her ear infection and the flu. I can’t believe I got this kid a flu shot. She’s been sick twice since she got it. Meanwhile, Sam is teething. I swear, in the history of teething this is the longest time a child has ever taken to cut a tooth. She’s been fussing and drooling for weeks. I made the mistake of giving her Anbesol right before nursing her, and now my left nipple is numb.

And of course, I’m still struggling with the writing. I may or may not have had a break through on the “two gay guys and a horse” story last night. I at least was able to write the ending, which was good. However, I wrote it by hand in a notebook while taking a bath, so this afternoon I get to decipher my sopping wet notes. Note to self, buy a small hand-held recorder and get a bath tub tray to make this easier next time.

Cassie is currently tucked in bed for a little morning rest. I can’t stand the idea of her sitting in front of the TV all day again, even if she is sick. I pulled out the comforter we were saving for Christmas and told her it was a magic fairy blanket from Grandmama and it would help her get better if she’d get in bed and curl up with it for a while. There are actually fairies on it, by the way. Wish I had a magic fairy blanket to curl up under…

Sam, meanwhile, is nursing away. I’m wondering if she’ll be awake when she’s done or not. If she’s asleep, I’m going to sit down and write and let Michael run to the pharmacy. I hope she stays awake though. I’d rather work through her afternoon nap. She blew it off yesterday and it just about killed me.

Since both kids are quiet right now, maybe I better get to work while I can.

Thanks!

Well, I don’t know about you, but we had a nice Thanksgiving here Thursday. What made it particularly nice for me was the fact that I got to spend two hours writing, even though both Michael and Cassie were home all day. I have this little problem, you see, when those two are here. I just can’t get anything done. It’s been especially aggravating the last six weeks as I’ve struggled with writer’s block. I just know that having some time to actually sit down and writer would solve that problem, but it’s almost impossible to do that when the house is in a complete uproar.

What is it about having my husband and eldest child home that makes things so chaotic? It’s probably scheduling, or the lack there of. When I’m home alone with Sam, I’ve got a routine that we follow as close as we can. Nap times are at 8:30AM and 2PM. Bath time is at 7:30AM. Afternoon play time is from noon to one. Etc., etc., etc. I know what we’ll be doing and when, and I’ve built the entire schedule around Sam’s naps which, by the way, are my work hours.

Michael, however, doesn’t have this schedule memorized. Why should he? He’s not home most of the days and he doesn’t do the breastfeeding (which is also done on a schedule). Plus, he doesn’t like to get up at the butt-crack of dawn like I do, so when he’s home on the weekends, he doesn’t set his alarm to wake him up. Without a definite starting point, his day runs in a state of flux. And that’s fine for him because he knows what he has to do and he’ll eventually get it done before Monday rolls around. Unfortunately, his state of flux blows my carefully regimented schedule all to hell.

Things really came to a head on Wednesday. Due to the storm that rolled through here, Michael stayed home from work. I tried to keep Sam on a schedule, but I hadn’t even considered that Michael would be home that day, so I ran around trying to do my usual thing and kept tripping over him. That put Sam’s nap schedule way off, and my work hours too. Plus Cassie was home as well, and we were supposed to do some fun stuff that day so even though I was massively behind schedule, I took a hour or two to sit and paint with her because I promised her I would. I even read her stories and got her down for a nap, but Sam woke up about then and that was the end of my hopes for my afternoon work hours. Michael did try to rescue me. He offered to take Sam for a while so I could write. But five minutes after he left, Cassie woke up, demanding to know where her father was. When she found out he’d left, she threw a major tantrum, one that lasted right up until Michael got home. And when he walked into the house, I decided to throw a tantrum too.

“I hate it when you guys are home! I can’t get anything done! I sold a book last week, damn it, but I’ll never be able to write again because you keep screwing up my schedule! I’m tired of my work being treated like a second class priority just because it’s erotica and I work at home. If I don’t get some time to write today, I’m putting you and little Miss I-Gotta-Scream out on the lawn and I don’t care if it’s raining!”

And on and on and on. To Michael’s credit, he stood there and took it all like a man. Then he slipped out of the bedroom and took Cassie downstairs so I could work for an hour.

After my little tirade, I decided something had to be done, so I printed out a blank schedule form and sat down with Michael that night to review what would happen the next day. We wrote down nap times and meal times, added time for Michael to cook Thanksgiving dinner, and put in my work hours too. Then I posted our schedule on the fridge where we could see it and went to bed. The next morning, I got up at the butt-crack of dawn and Michael got up at 7AM, just like we’d scheduled it. And the whole day just fell into place like magic.

It was amazing how well that worked. It worked so well I was caught completely unprepared when my afternoon work hours rolled around and I had free time to do whatever I wanted. And we sat down again last night with another blank schedule and filled in that one too. So far, the day’s working out as planned. I just can’t believe it.

So there you go. I’m grateful for schedules that work and husbands who put up with temper tantrums and children who nap. I’d be grateful for the husband and kids even if they didn’t act like such angels yesterday, but you know what? It makes all the difference in the world to know they care about whether or not I get work done.

The Queen Of Porn Rides Again!

I got some great news last night. My erotica novel, Demon By Day, is being picked up by an e-publisher. I won’t divulge too many details, but I’ve got a contract to sign and mail in so I’m feeling very good. Demon By Day (originally titled “Helen’s Very Gay Fantasy Novel”) is a work of lus- er, love, for me. I spent ten months writing the first draft, another three doing the second draft, and another two putting together synopses and query letters for publishers. I think I came out lucky on this one, as it found a publisher far more quickly than I had any right to expect.

In other erotica writing news, the Erotica Readers and Writers Association is pleased to announce the release of
CREAM
, an anthology of the best of ERWA’s story galleries. Yours truly has a piece in there that will curl your hair and probably kill the faint of heart. “A Man In A Kilt” is another work of lus- er, love, and I’m very proud of it.
Winter is coming folks, so if you’re looking for something to read AND keep you warm at the same time, you know who to come to.

YEEHAW!!