Author: Cynical Woman

Cartoonist, Artist, Geek, Evil Crafter, Girl Scout Troop Leader and Writer. Also, a zombie. I haven't slept in I don't know how long.
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Rats! Episode 03 – Hair, Hair!

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One of the first things that happens to new cadets when they arrive at Virginia Tech is the Haircut. I should mention that the freshman cadets and cadre arrive a week before the rest of the student body, to spend time learning how to march, salute, wear the uniform, etc. It was not a fun month as I recall. Very painful in fact. We started every day off with PT, scrambling out of bed at oh-dark-thirty and into our sweats and sneakers to go for a run and do millions of push-ups and sit-ups until every freshman cadet was puking up their lungs. Well, at least I was puking up my lungs. Prior to joining the VTCC, I never did any running and certainly had no idea what a push-up was.

But on to the haircut. There was a little barber shop on Main Street near College Avenue were the upper classmen cadre took all the male rats. They went in with hair, they came out with peach fuzz. It was pretty startling, I tell ya. And then the upper classmen had us female rats rub the guys’ heads, just to get across the point how short the haircut was. It sort of felt like velvet. Or bare skin. Hair any longer than that was an upper classman privilege.

Myself, I also had very short hair back then. I had gone through high school as a sort of Annie Lennox look alike, though my hair wasn’t really a buzz cut. Yet. But then that first quarter at Tech, I had to get my hair cut because it was getting too long. Female cadets had to keep their hair off the collar and out of their eyes, and my hair was just touching the collar of my shirt. There weren’t many options for hair dressers in Blacksburg, so I went to the beauty parlor right next to the same barber shop all my male buds had gotten their haircuts at. Wouldn’t you know it, the same barber was filling in for one of the hairdressers that day, and when he saw me in my cadet uniform, he knew exactly what to do. And he said exactly what I drew him as saying up in the cartoon. And he even had the Jheri curl I drew on him in the cartoon!

That was the shortest I’d ever had my hair cut, and I started growing it the moment I walked out of that beauty parlor. Let me tell you, folks. Blacksburg in late November is damned cold, and I nearly froze to death before I had enough hair to cover the back of my head again.

Stupid barber.

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Writing Wednesday – Lessons from Marscon, part 2

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Once again, I’m looking at at what I learned from my most recent public appearance as a professional writer. I spent the weekend of 15-17 January at Marscon in Williamsburg, VA, and in addition to having a great time, I learned a few things about going on the road. You can read lessons 1-5 here. But right now, let’s jump into #6 and go straight through to the end.

Lesson #6 – Take care of yourself at the con! I can’t emphasize this enough. I had to man my author table from all during then day then turn around and spend three hours each night participating in panels. Not that I’m complaining! But that’s a lot of work and an exhausting schedule. Most of my panels were scheduled to start at 10PM and didn’t end until 1AM, so I was up very late both Friday and Saturday night. Between that and the hours I needed to spend at my table actively selling my books, my chances of going out for a meal were mostly screwed. However, I was smart enough to bring a few groceries to the con, so I always had some healthy snacks on hand (a lot of people kept asking, “What are you planning to do with that bannana, young lady?” “Oh, it’s part of my act,” I’d reply). I also made sure I had plenty of water with me, since hotels get pretty dry. So I managed to eat and drink no matter how crazy my schedule was, and that went a long way toward me not passing out around 11PM during a panel. Very important to keep in mind.

Lesson #7 – Bring a power strip. I really could have used one of these this weekend. I brought both my cell phone and my netbook, expecting to use them both. Problem was, my hotel room didn’t offer much in the way of electrical outlets. They were all tucked behind large pieces of furniture, making them damned near impossible to reach. The one I could reach without rearranging the room was cracked and warped so badly I couldn’t plug either the phone or the laptop into it. That meant I had no cell phone and no netbook for most of the weekend, which sort of sucked. Next year I’m bringing a power strip with a surge supressor so that I can be certain to have outlets that I can reach and thus have a charged netbook and cell phone. ‘Nuff said.

Lesson #8 – Bring a friend along! When a friend of mine heard I was going to Marscon, she mentioned she wanted to go too. I just happened to have an extra bed in my room, so I offered it and she accepted. This worked out really well. Jett not only bought me dinner Saturday night, she also helped me lug around my box of books and promo and helped me set up and break down each day. Plus she showed up to almost every panel I was on, which gave me the warm fuzzies like you wouldn’t believe. It’s nice to have friends who support everything you do, and Jett just made the weekend so much easier and nicer than I ever could have imagined.

Lesson #9 – One author can do a little, 6 authors can do a lot. I was not the only erotica author at Marscon last weekend. J.M. Snyder, Treva Harte, Kathryn Lively, and Sapphire Phelan were there too. I made sure of it. For the last three years now, I’ve coordinated with Marscon and EPIC Virginia to ensure that there are a group of e-published authors at the convention. It means a little more work for me than if I just went on my own, but the benefits more than make up for it. For starters, one erotica author by herself wouldn’t warrent an entire track of adult-themed programming. But six authors, especially when two of them are publishers of spec fic erotica and erotic romance? That definitely deserves a special track. By going as a group, we were able to do a series of panels on e-publishing and writing speculative fiction erotica and romance. In return, we got guest status at the con, our bios in the program book, a chance to talk to readers, and a late night reading. We were also able to split the cost of author tables to keep expenses down, and by sharing the tables we were better able to fill them, making it look like we really meant serious business (which we did). Together, we were just bigger and better than we would have been on our own.

Lesson #10 – Stuff happens. There was actually supposed to be one more author with us at Marscon – Beth Wylde. Beth is one of the best I’ve seen at public appearances, and we had a blast working together last year. She had signed up for this year, but had an unexpected emergency the night before and couldn’t make it. In years past, I might have panicked, but I’ve learned that something will always go wrong at a convention. Rather than pull my hair out, I talked to the other authors and we made arrangements to fill in for Beth’s panels. It’s a shame she wasn’t able to make it, because she really would have been a hit again this year. But we were able to work around that. And Beth, if you’re reading this, I hope everything is going well now and I’ve already got you on the list for next year!

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ACW Episode 53 – Sleepwear (plus how to make a comic strip)

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Just one more example of how exciting the life of an erotica writer really is 😉

I thought I might show you all how I put together the Adventures of Cynical Woman web comics. I’m sure you’re all just fascina– Hey! Get back here! I’m not done talking to you yet!

Where was I? Oh yes, how I put the comic strips together. First, I need an idea. This week’s idea was inspired by an e-mail interview I did with a journalist who wanted to know how I write erotica. I mentioned that some nights I curl up in bed with my laptop to write my stories, but that wasn’t nearly as sexy as it sounded because I always wear flannel PJs and tuck a heating pad under my feet. This particular erotica author does NOT like to be cold.

So I had my idea. Next, I needed to script it out and draw a quick thumbnail sketch of what the panels would look like. I do this step in a notebook I keep just for the cartoons. Here’s what the idea sketch and script look like.

Very fascinating, right? Right! Anyway, once I know what I’m writing and drawing, I set up a sheet of paper on my handy dandy drawing board.

The drawing board is actually a piece of foam core with some white poster-board taped over it for a smooth drawing surface. I use a low tack tape to attach the paper, and then use a mechanical pencil and T-square to draft out the panels. I always draw in red pencil. You’ll see why in a bit.

Next, I roughly sketch in where each of the characters and props are going to go in each panel. This is nothing fancy, just stick figures and basic shapes to help me determine how much room each character will need in the panel and still leave room for the word balloons and text.

Then I start to draw a detailed sketch for each panel, again using the same mechanical pencil with red lead.

I like to do a fairly detailed drawing so I know exactly what I have to ink. Once the final sketching is done, I pull out a brush pen (I use Faber Castell brush markers; they’re the best!) and I ink the cartoon. For the borders and fine line work and cross hatching, I use a Faber Castell technical pen or a Micron Pigma pen.

Once I’ve got the inking done, I scan the cartoon into the computer via Photoshop. I have to do it in two pieces, since I use a very big piece of paper for the cartoon. I don’t bother erasing the red pencil marks because I don’t have to. I simply delete the red color channels from my image once it’s been scanned in and then convert the whole thing to grey scale. Voila! No more red pencil, just black ink.

Once everything is scanned in, I use Photoshop to pull it all together. I have a blank comic template set up with all the credits and titles already in it, as well as guidelines set up to help me line up the artwork. I use the text tool and the pen/shape tools to add the text and word balloons. For the final touch, I add two extra layers to the image, one for black areas and one for white high lights. I’ve found it’s easier and cleaner for me to add black areas to the cartoon in Photoshop than to do it by hand, so certain things like the laptop in this cartoon or the Hubster’s hair will be blacked in then, with another layer set up for white highlights on top of that.

Once it’s all done, I flatten all the layers in Photoshop, scale the image down, and then put it in a blog post for the website. The whole process takes anywhere from 2-4 hours, depending on how detailed the cartoon is, or how tired I am that day. Today I was beat, so between that and putting together this little behind-the-scenes look, I probably spent about 4 1/2 hours on this total.

Anyway, that’s how it’s done. Now aren’t you glad you hung around to read all that? Wasn’t that just fascinating? Hello? Hellooooooo…

I can hear you breathing, you know.

Don’t forget, episode 03 of Rats! runs this Thursday on www.cynicalwoman.com!

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Move It Mama Monday! Does the new EASA work?

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It’s been over four weeks since I got the new EA Sports Active for Christmas. Since then, I’ve started the 6-Week Challenge (at medium intensity level) and am now half-way through that. Am I seeing any results?

Yes. Since Christmas, I’ve lost four pounds and I can definitely see more muscle definition. Even better, the new EASA doesn’t seem intent on destroying my knees like the old version was. A lot of the exercises that caused me so much pain have either been removed from the game or modified. So yes, this game definitely seems to be working for me.

However, I don’t believe I’m getting those results through EASA alone. Keep in mind, we are now past the holidays, which means I am also past the holiday eating. All those cookies, cakes, pies, candies, plus meat heavy meals are now three weeks behind me. I’ve since switched to eating two vegetarian meals a day, plus I’m drinking a lot more water. I’m not perfect at following these two rules, but I do them often enough that I think they’ve also had an effect on my health and weight. Plus I continue to take water aerobics classes and karate classes, both twice a week.

I think what’s worked more than anything is that I’m settled back into my old routine, with a little more emphasis on eating healthy and getting more exercise. Not being able to determine how the day would go over the holidays often meant I had no idea when or what I would be eating, so I ate a lot of junk and high fat meals as a result. I’d love to have more control over my schedule next year, if only so I could control my eating better. To do so, however, will probably mean I’ll have to make some changes to my schedule over all. Celebrating the holidays, in many ways, is like taking on an extra part-time job from October through December. To do all the things I’d like to do for the holidays – baking, decorating, sewing, parties, concerts, etc. – I’d have to cut back on my regular work during those months. It’s something I’ll have to think about before next October rolls around.

In any event, I’m enjoying the new EASA and the new eating habits. So far, I’ve cooked three vegetarian soups that did not suck, which means I’d cook and eat them again. In fact one of those soups, the carrot puree soup, was so good I’d make that any time and enjoy it.

So there you go, the secret to weight loss; healthy eating, plenty of water, regular exercise and a normal, livable schedule. Am I a genius for figuring out the obvious or what?

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Sunday Contentments – Pink Zombies

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So what do you think? On the left is Rainbow Baby, the first crocheted doll I made and the one Pixie absconded with. On the right is Zombo, the second crocheted doll I made that Princess has since laid claim too. Believe it or not, I made both dolls by following the same pattern. Yes, it’s amazing how much I learned from making Rainbow Baby. Some people say mistakes give hand-crafts a bit of character. If that’s true, Rainbow Baby has plenty of character to spare!

But I still adore Rainbow Baby, my mutant first attempt at crochet. Zombo came out very nicely and I am now hard at work on crocheting my first ninja. He should come out well, I think, since I keep learning as I do this.

It’s nice to have a hobby again, something small I can do in my spare time. Since Pixie started taking karate classes, I now spend an hour three times a week waiting for both girls to do their classes. That gives me the right amount of time to work on things like this. The little crocheted dolls really don’t take much time, and they have so much personality when they’re done. I can’t wait to make a whole collection for myself. And then there are other things I’d like to do, like make myself some sweaters for next winter, gifts for friends. It’s just really nice to have a hobby again, and a little bit of time to practice it in.

Of course, what’s really cool is that I can now make pink crocheted zombies and voodoo dolls. I tell ya, nothing beats being able to say “A zombie!” when people ask me, “What are you making now?”

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Friday Round Up

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I’ve had so much going on lately, I thought I’d post a few links to let you know where I am and what I’m up to. Enjoy!

*****

Future Perfect was reviewed at Coffee Time Romance! I got 3 cups out of 5; not the top rating, but the reviewer did make some very nice comments, including…

“I loved this story! The sex scenes were amazing, the shared memories were very erotic, and the lesson learned was extraordinary. This tale was just perfect.” (for the story Alienated)

“I loved this tale! The emotional upheaval that Marnie’s ex-girlfriend caused with her vicious words shows realistic sensitivity in Marnie. I feel that Sal’s abrasive manner is perfect when handling the emotional woman. This was a fantastic story.” (for the story A Fish Tale)

There were several other nice comments like this as well. If you want a good idea of what the book is like, I do suggest reading this review. Again, Future Perfect only got 3 out of 5 cups, but with comments like these, I really can’t complain! And if you’d like to pick up a copy to read yourself, you can get Future Perfect right here!

CTR_FuturePerfect_review_pic.jpg

*****

Future Perfect was also reviewed by Bitten By Books, and this time got 4 tombstones out of 5! My favorite comments here include…

“A wholly new take on the story of the birds and the bees! The author takes the idea of the circle of life, the pollination of flowers, and turns it into an erotic male/male romp that you won’t believe.” (for the story The Honey Bee)

“Election Day will never be the same after reading this enticing and sexy short which gives a whole new meaning to making the candidates earn your votes! So much political humor wrapped inside this that I couldn’t stop laughing.” (for the story The Voting Booth)

A very nice review, and my thanks to Bitten By Books!

*****

Welcome To Mundania makes an appearance on Babbling About Books, and More! The cover art for Welcome to Mundania puts in an appearance in a blog post entitled WTFckery with the following comment…

“Whoever created this cover was dropping acid or the reader has to to the same thing or swallow some LSD tabs to figure out what this cover is. Maybe this cover will help you reach nirvana in your life? All the pretty colors… ooh… trippy..“

If you follow the link in the comment, you end up at yet another blog, Kris ‘N’ Good Books, which also gives the cover art for Welcome To Mundania a good once over. Honestly, I love both blog posts, and couldn’t stop laughing when I read them. The cover art was designed to have an acid trip effect. It’s actually based on the artwork for the Heat Flash Erotica Podcast, which is where these stories first ran. Heat Flash tends to be experimental, and the artwork was meant to reflect that. Anyway, I loved reading the comments and made sure to thank the blog owners, since they gave my book a great deal of exposure 😉

Welcome to Mundania is available at Logical-Lust.com!

*****

Beyond that, it’s Friday, which means I’m over at Oh Get A Grip today, blogging about charity. Also, the latest episode of the Heat Flash Erotica Podcast is available today. This week’s story is a very dirty m/m/m/m/m take on Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Enjoy!

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Rats! Episode 02 – AAAAAUGH!

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This was exactly what happened when my parents first abandoned dropped me off at Virginia Tech in 1987. Mom and Dad helped me get everything unpacked and into my room and then they turned me over to this crazed bunch of psychopaths that I was pretty sure had every intention of killing me slowly via that form of torture known as the push-up. And yeah, I was pretty scared about that.

This was not the first time away from home for me. I’d been to various summer camps and had even spent six weeks in Ireland as part of a study abroad program when I was sixteen. This was, however, the first time I’d been left in a situation I did not want to be in. Camp? Sure, I could do that. Ireland? I jumped at the chance. Virginia Tech Corps of Cadets? Hells no, I did not want to join that freaky outfit!

Except that I did, because back then I could not argue with my Dad and win. He was determined that I take ROTC at whatever school I went to. Little did I know that Virginia Tech had this mini-military academy stuck in the middle of the student body, and that I could not, COULD NOT, take ROTC without joining said mini-military academy. Oh, was my Dad overjoyed to hear this! Oh, did I so want to be run over by a bus before the start of my first semester of school.

But that didn’t happen and so away I went to Tech, where my parents and I were pleasantly greeted by a group of smiling, friendly upper class-men. And you better believe the nice act stopped the moment my mom and dad got into the car and drove away.

Again, my life back then was painfully funny. Emphasis on the painful part.

What’s painful now though is to look at the original cartoons. For the life of me, I have no frikkin’ clue why the Collegiate Times ran these damn things. They must have been desperate for content is all I can think of. I spent quite a bit of time cleaning up both this week’s and last week’s cartoons – adding proper borders, erasing stray marks, redoing the text on the computer, etc. Here’s what the original cartoon looks like…

Pretty scary, huh? I knew so little about drawing comic strips, it never even occurred to me to draw borders all the way around each panel. I just did those little crossbars things and left it at that. Duh. As for the lettering? Well, this comic strip was drawn so long ago, we didn’t have scanners to get the artwork into the computer, so adding the lettering in a graphics program would have been a moot point.

Regardless of how badly I drew these first cartoons, the CT ran them, for which I am forever grateful. Now more than 20 years later, I get to clean them up and run them again. I hope you enjoy.

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Writing Wednesday – Lessons from Marscon, part 1

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I love going to conventions. I especially had a great time last weekend at Marscon in Williamsburg, VA. Being a guest at a convention is one of those things that really makes me feel like all the hours I spend huddled over the keyboard are more than worth it. I get treated like a minor star, I get to sell my books and talk to fans (yes, I have a few!), I get to do readings and moderate discussion panels… It’s all very heady stuff.

But conventions are real learning experiences too. I’m pretty comfortable with what I do by myself at home — sitting down to write, coming up with story ideas, hunting for markets and sending out submissions, etc. Public appearances are all together different. Here’s a list of things I learned last weekend about being a writer on the road.

Lesson #1 – Pack early. The day before the convention started, I had all my promo material scattered in fifteen different boxes. There was no rhyme or reason to where things were stored. I had an author table to run at the con, and so I started pulling out all those boxes to take stock of what I had and organize it more efficiently. I wish I had done this sooner, a lot sooner! It took all day to sort through boxes of bookmarks, business cards, post cards, buttons, and posters. I was a little surprised at what I did and didn’t have to take. It never occurred to me to put together new business cards for the new website. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that, but when I pulled out my old business cards and saw the old URL, I smacked myself hard in the forehead. On the upside, I discovered I still had enough bookmards for Future Perfect and Heat Flash, and one of my publishers had sent me plenty of promo for the books by other authors that I had offered to take with me to the con. He even got me a t-shirt with the cover art for Future Perfect on it and a huge banner that said, “Meet the author, Helen E. H. Madden!” Made for a very full, very nice table.

Lesson #2 – Make sure your luggage has wheels. I had to dig to find a storage container big enough to hold all my books and promo. Unfortunately, said container did not have wheels. That meant I had to lug around a 70 lb. box of stuff at least twice each day I was at the con. Sometimes I was able to snag a luggage cart from the hotel, but at least once I had to carry that damned box from my author table on the first floor all the way up to my hotel room on the third floor. I’m damned lucky I didn’t rupture myself. Before the next con, I’m getting a sturdy box with wheels and a handle!

Lesson #3 – Chocolate is a great way to lure readers in. This is a trick I learned from Beth Wylde. Last year I shared a table with Beth, and she brought a bowl of chocolates to give out to everyone who walked by. I brought my own chocolates this year, and every time someone came within earshot, I called out, “Have a chocolate! It’s free!” Even the one person who didn’t like chocolate stopped to take a look at my table (and tell me why they didn’t like chocolate), and more than a few people actually hung around for a while to talk. Which leads me to my next lesson learned…

Lesson #4 – Conversations lead to sales. I actually knew this from years prior. If you can hold a conversation with someone, you have a good shot at getting them to buy your book. I had a lot of conversations with people that lasted 10 minutes or longer, and seven of those conversations ended up in sales. Others at least ended with people taking my card, some bookmarks, and the catalog for one of my publishers’ books. I made certain to do two things in every conversation. The first thing I did was mention that all my books were available for purchase online, in print and various digital formats, in case people wanted to buy later. The second thing I did was make sure I let them talk while I listened. I’ve seen more than one author go on and on without listening to the people they were talking to. In fact, I’ve been one of those people being prattled at, and sometimes it’s like being trapped by a vicious predator who will only let you go if you BUY, BUY, BUY! I never buy from those people, ever. So rather than push too hard, I let others do the talking for a bit while I listen, so as not to turn them off me and my books forever.

Lesson #5 – Dress up your table. Take another gander at the picture at the beginning of this post. Go on, I’ll wait. Okay, what did you see? Nice table, huh? While hunting for something to carry all my books and promo in, I found a long piece of black and gold lace cloth that I decided to use as a table cloth for my author table. Most author tables are either plain, bare folding tables or plain folding tables with some yucky standard issue hotel tablecloth. The lace fabric transformed my table from old and ugly to nifty and neat, and it went really well with all the bright covers of the books I had on display. I tell ya, I looked like a pro!

I’ve got another five lessons from this past weekend that I’ll post next Wednesday. So be sure to come back next week! It’s all good stuff, I promise.

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ACW Episode 52 – My very adult weekend

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I know, I know. Today’s cartoon went up late, but there was a reason why. I left Friday morning for Marscon, and was gone all weekend. And yes indeedy, I did have several late night panels which have left me shambling about like one of the living dead. But that’s not why today’s cartoon was late. Today’s cartoon was late because…

It’s all the HUBSTER’S fault!!

Yes, Saint Michael the Magnificent did something truly amazing. He decided to upgrade both my laptop and my desktop this past weekend while I was gone. Now I knew about the laptop. That poor machine has been limping along like nobody’s business the last six months, and I knew while I was away Hubster was going to pull out the old hard drive, install a new one, and reinstall all my software. I knew this. What I did not know was that he also planned to upgrade the operating system on my desktop from Vista to Windows 7.

When I came home Sunday night, both machines were still undergoing upgrades. No big deal. I was too tired to do any work that evening anyway. But on Monday morning, they were both still down. Now I was starting to get a little antsy because in addition to getting today’s cartoon drawn and scanned in, I also had a bit of cover art to finish off for a client and a podcast to finish assembling for Radio Dentata. Both those projects were on the desktop, which I had not been expecting to be under repair. Thus I had not copied the necessary files to my handy thumbdrive in case I needed to use another computer to finish the work. In fact, I couldn’t have used those files on the laptop until the upgraded hard drive was installed anyway, because I think putting anything else on the laptop probably would have killed that machine deader than a doornail. So I had left everything on the desktop, which I knew would back up automatically onto the external hard drive, and went my merry way on Friday thinking I’d be able to get back to work when I got home.

Hubster kept working on both machines all through yesterday. By yesterday evening, they still weren’t finished. In fact, the desktop appeared to have hung itself around the 62% point of the Windows 7 upgrade. It wouldn’t go any further no matter how hard I swore at it. The laptop was almost done, but it didn’t have the files I needed to finish my work, plus it wasn’t connected to my scanner so I couldn’t scan in the cartoon I had managed to draw yesterday. You see, I was on schedule, but got derailed by technical difficulties.

Hubster finally got me set with the laptop very early this morning. The desktop finally hung itself and crashed mid upgrade on Windows 7, so he rolled it back to Vista. Now at 3PM, nine hours later than usual, I can finally post this week’s Adventures of Cynical Woman. Hubster tells me he will wait until the next time I go to a con before he attempts to upgrade to Windows 7 again. I told him fine, but let’s make sure we’ve got a back up in place.

You know, just in case.

Don’t forget, my new/old comic Rats! runs again this Thursday and every Thursday from here on out! If you missed the first episode, you can see it here.

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Rats! Episode 01 – How did I get here?!

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A long time ago (back in 1989, to be exact), in a galaxy far, far away (Blacksburg, Virginia), there was a 20-year-old college student who had nothing better to do with her time than sit and draw cartoons about the Virginia Tech Cadet Corps, of which she was a member.

No, I’m not kidding, I was actually a cadet in college. I wore a uniform everyday, had room inspections and PT, and I even had an Army ROTC scholarship.

I was a lousy cadet, which should surprise no one. Back then, I had yet to develop a passion for fitness, so all the running and push ups and hauling around of 50 lbs of equipment on my back was pretty much my own personal version of Hell. And you just know I had problems with authority. Plus I had no prior experience with the military, in spite of the fact that my dad was career Army (every time he discussed work, yours truly pretty much tuned out). That meant I was completely clueless about things like saluting and marching and singing jodies, etc. Yet in spite of all that, I somehow made it through four years of ROTC and the Cadet Corps, which was like being in a military academy tucked inside the civilian student body (probably somewhere around where the gall bladder would be… get it? Tucked inside the student body, near the gall bladder… oh never mind).

The four years I spent at Virginia Tech were some of the most exhausting, frustrating, and painful times of my life. And yet they were also hysterically funny. After two years in the Corps, I started drawing cartoons about what it was like to be a rat; that is, a freshman cadet. No matter how much I advanced through college and the Corps, I always felt like a rat — confused, hopelessly lost, distracted, and frazzled. Not much has changed since those days, really.

I drew four years worth of Rats! for the Virginia Tech Collegiate Times. That was two strips a week for nine months of the year. Last weekend, I dug through my closet and found all my old strips. Some are in pretty bad condition and need serious restoration. Most are just fine, though. None of these have ever been published anywhere but in the CT, and then not since 1993, the year I finally stopped drawing Rats! and got married and moved on with my life.

I hope you enjoy Rats! You’ll be seeing it here every Thursday until I run through all the original strips. I figure that should take three years. I’ll be running the cartoons in chronological order, so what happens in the strip probably won’t match up with what’s going on the real world (i.e. strips drawn for Christmas or Spring Break will appear when they turn up in the order they were drawn, and not necessarily at Christmas or Spring Break). So sit back and enjoy. You’re about to get a sneak peek at four of the wildest years of my life.