Rats! Episode 45 – Beer goggles

Aaaaaawwwww, don’t they make a cute couple?

This story arc has a few more eps before it wraps up. No, I don’t have any clue what’s coming up next. I just know things switch over to something else.

I hope everyone is enjoying the holidays – Channukah, Kwanza, Christmas, Bohdi Day (for all you fellow Buddhists out there!). Whatever you celebrate, enjoy it. To all you students out there, take care driving home for the holidays and do not hand your mom all your dirty laundry when you walk in the door. She’ll love you for that, trust me.

ACW Episode 96 – Reach out and…

My mother has discovered the joys of Skype, so now once a week she has a video conference with the kids. It’s very chaotic. The kids haven’t figured out yet how to sit still so they can stay in the camera frame and sometimes they like to get really, really close to my netbook and all my mom ends up seeing is tonsils and nostrils. But she loves it.

My family is visiting for a week over the holidays and I have no idea what my schedule will be like. I’m sick right now with a nasty cold, and I’ve got a lot of work to get done. So I have no idea if I’ll get a cartoon up or not next week. I’ve decided not to make any promises about deadlines over the holiday season. I may do a cartoon or just relax. Or maybe I’ll do some doodles and post those. You’ll see whatever I put up whenever I put it up.

In any event, enjoy your holidays and I’ll see you when I see you!

Rats! Episode 44 – Relationship drama!

Ah, relationship drama. Nothing says love like doing something totally stupid to impress the object of your affection. I’ve done it, you’ve probably done, we’ve all done. But some folks go a little farther than others and that can spell disaster, especially if you land on your head.

Speaking of relationships, today is the 20th anniversary of the first time I kissed my husband. It was during a Christmas party/slam dance at good ol’ Apartment 1 in Blacksburg. This was my senior year at Virginia Tech, and Michael and I had been flirting outrageously for months. A lot of folks probably breathed a sigh of relief when we finally got together, then looked away when we got waaaaaaaaaay too sappy and mushy for anybody’s good. We’re still just as bad 20 years later, I can assure you.

ACW Episode 95 – You want WHAT for lunch?

This happens ALL the time. I will be preparing lunch for myself and my darling children and of course one of them will ask for the impossible. It’s most often Pixie, asking for a grilled cheese or PBJ sandwich… sans a certain important ingredient as seen above.

Feeding young children is always challenging. When Princess was very young, I used to struggle to find things she would eat. As a toddler, she’d get a plate of sliced fruit, shredded cheese, crackers, all sorts of things I knew she liked to eat and yet she’d still turn her nose up at it. Catering to her like this meant I had to prepare two meals, one for the adults and one just for her, and that’s just exhausting of course. So one day I just snapped. I put together a plate of what we were eating, cut up into toddler-sized tidbits, put it on the highchair tray in front of her and said, “Eat or starve. I am done jumping through hoops for you, kid.”

Obviously she has not starved. But to this day we do still have our battles over food.

Princess/Pixie: “How much brocoli do I have to eat to get a treat tonight?”

Me: “All of it.”

The kids: “All of it?! But that’s a lot!”

Me: “No, it isn’t. I only gave you what I know you can eat.”

The kids: “But I can’t eat all of it. I’m not hungry anymore.”

Me: “Then I guess you’re not hungry for a treat either.”

Don’t you just love how logic works in a situation like that? Of course, they will continue to bicker and barter over the whole thing. Personally, I don’t care if they get a treat or not. They don’t need the sugar like they need the green veggies. But Hubster will sometimes relent and cut a deal, so the whining continues at every meal, the kids knowing that some days they might get what they want and some days not. It just depends on which parent is most likely to rule the table that day.

Anyway, I hope you have a lovely day. Be sure to enjoy your lunch. And if you figure out how to make a grilled cheese with salami, pickles, jam, sprinkles, syrup and no bread, let me know!

Rats! Episode 43 – Let’s party!

Yes, I’m posting late again today. Blame the holidays and my workload. I am up to my armpits in a novel I’m rewriting, plus I started a new project last week called Very Scary Art. It’s a website devoted to children’s drawings of all things scary and spooky and it’s done in support of DonorsChoose.org. Stop by and take a look!

As for this week’s comic, yes, Irwin is not a rat who can handle his liquor. There are a few more of these strips, then we move on to other subjects. I can’t remember which subjects at the moment, but this party storyline does eventually end. When these cartoons first ran, a lot of folks didn’t like it. They prefered the single gag comics rather than an overarcing story that ran several episodes. All I can say is, I had to come up with two comic strips a week for the Collegiate Times, so I went with what I thought would work. I still think the comics are funny, even if others didn’t care for them. But then I drew them, so what do I know?

I’ve recently been reading Scary Go Round by John Allen, a very fun web comic about a little town called Tackleford in England. It’s a bizarre comic with all sorts of oddities like pretty but troubled women, wendigos, zombies, fish men and evil scientists. John Allen included his comments in each book about what he thought worked and didn’t work, and I was amazed to note that he also had storylines that he thought did not go over well with his fans. I had a hard time imagining it, because I thought each and every page was pure gold.

Cartoonists, like all artists, can be a very self-critical lot. We do the best we can, but we rely on an audience to let us know if we’ve succeeded or not. That’s both great and not so great, but either way, I’d still rather draw cartoons than get paid to work a day job.

ACW Episode 94 – Why November is the WRONG month for NaNoWriMo

Let me just say, November is the wrooooooooong month for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). I thought this last year when I was working on PerNoFiMo (Personal Novel Finishing Month), which is my version of NaNoWriMo, only with the purpose of finishing a project I started but never got past the first few thousand words on.

The thing with both NaNoWriMo and PerNoFiMo is that you have to, HAVE TO, write every day, and not just a few hundred words either. The goal of NaNoWriMo is to complete a 50000 word draft of a novel in 30 days. The goal of PerNoFiMo is to come as close to finishing the first draft of that uncompleted project as I can get, and that usually means 30-40K words. That means on average 1000 words a night minimum for PerNoFiMo and 1700 words a night for NaNoWriMo. That’s a lot of words to write. And yes, they do have to be actual words! And of course, everybody is writing during the month leading up to the big holidays, and then there’s Thanksgiving when the kids are home for four days driving their hard working, frantically writing parents crazy. And then how can anyone possibly sit down to write after eating all that turkey?! Seriously, all I wanted to do after Thanksgiving dinner was curl up in a cave and hibernate for the rest of the year.

However, neither NaNoWriMo nor PerNoFiMo require that the novel being written be a perfect final draft. In fact, I think both events are ideal for banging out that very ugly first draft. You know what I’m talking about – the story so ugly only its author could love it, and even he or she might just set fire to it, it’s that bad? But that’s what first drafts are about, and you can’t get to the finished product without bringing that ugly 10 lb. baby first draft into the world.

Anyway, my sympathies and my encouragement to all you NaNoWriMo participants out there, and my congratulations to all you winners (including our dear friend Nobilis Reed!). I’ve reached a point in my PerNoFiMo project, The Little Death, where I’ve at least outlined the whole plot and I can see where I need to start doing massive rewriting. No, I didn’t really write out those final scenes. Probably about the last eighth of the book is only in very rough outline format. But it does have an ending now! Which means December is now PerNoReWriMo, or Personal Novel ReWriting Month.

And let me just say, December is a lousy month to be rewriting a novel…

Rats! Episode 42 – We have created a monster…

Oy! I’m running late today with the cartoon. My apologies. It’s Thanksgiving and I’ve been busy cooking this morning, getting ready to take a few dishes with me to my best friend’s family’s house for dinner this afternoon. But I managed to catch a few spare moments to post today’s comic.

A few notes about this episode. Alcohol and nerves never mix well, in my experience. People go from scared to stupid in one drink. Yeah, yeah, I keep harping on the “don’t drink” message, but honestly, I saw far too many people in my years at Virginia Tech do stupid things because they had too much to drink. It can cost you your scholarship, your military commission, your degree, your life, everything.

So there’s my public service announcement. Now please notice the cockroach and Space Bunny posters in the background. Looking at these, I’m guessing I drew this cartoon around the time Technicon was about to be held. And it looks like it must have been Technicon 7, maybe. Yes, I was a sci-fi nerd and a hard core member of the Virginia Tech Science Fiction and Fantasty Club, better known as VTSFFC. That’s how I met the Hubster, in fact. I got elected club president one year and my girlfriends decided to make him Vice President because we looked so cute together. Honestly, I think we were lousy at running the club, but we have managed to stay happily married for the last 17 years, so there’s that.

Have a happy Thanksgiving! Some time later this weekend, I hope to make a big announcement about a super-secret-special project that I have in the works. I can’t say what it is yet, but whatever it is, it will be VERY SCARY! Stay tuned 😉

ACW Episode 93 – Smells like Katy Perry

Yes, I actually said this. And just to be clear, I really like the Katy Perry album in question. I’m just annoyed I can’t play it when the kids are around, which is ALL THE DAMN TIME. And I’m also annoyed that I don’t smell like cotton candy the way she does on the CD cover art. However, me getting my butt to smell like cotton candy would probably involve doing something highly lewd and illegal at a local carnival, which would then end in my arrest. So it’s probably not worth it. But I haven’t decided for certain on that yet.

I am hard at work on “The Little Death” for PerNoFiMo (Personal Novel Finishing Month). Aaaaaaaaaand… I’ve also started a new super-secret-special project, code named VeryScary. Details on this will be forthcoming.

Have a happy Turkey Day. Rats! will go up on Thursday as usual, but I expect things will be quiet around here otherwise this week.

Rats! Episode 42 – What will he do?!

Oh, the drama! There was nothing like a torrid romance to liven things up in the cadet dorms. We had many established couples in the VTCC. Some you knew were going to end up married right after graduation, and some you wondered if they’d survive the week or kill each other. It was more exciting that watching “Star Trek: The Next Generation” every Saturday evening in the Rasche Hall lounge. You guys remember watching STTNG? You ever heard of it? No? Oh, well watching Star Trek with a bunch of other geeks every Saturday evening was about as exciting as my romantic life ever got while I was in the VTCC.

Actually, that’s not true. I had a couple of abysmal boyfriends which was kind of exciting but they are best forgotten. Then I met the Hubster. We were so head-over-heels in love, it was sickening. However, he wasn’t a cadet, so we didn’t provide much fodder for the gossip mill in Rasche Hall. He was just another Star-Trek-watching geek I hung out with, except I liked to kiss him an awful lot. We haven’t changed much over the years, except that now we kiss while watching “The Daily Show.”

A few people got annoyed with me by this point in the comic series. They were sick of reading about “that damn party” that I had sent Irwin off to. “When are you going to get back to the funny comics?” they’d whine. “If you don’t like it, draw your own comics!” I’d whine back. Seriously, no one liked the story arc, which I thought was ashame. Rats was supposed to be about more than the usual hijinks in the VTCC. It was supposed to be about the characters, their little triumphs and crushing defeats, their hopes and dreams and greatest fears, they’re–

What? Oh, you want to know when I’m going to get back to the funny stuff.

Go draw your own damn comic! Meh…

ACW Episode 92 – Cats!! (Not the musical)

My cats get into all sorts of trouble. Not just the two cats I have now, Hiccup and Toothless, but also the original three cats I had for years. BJ, Lydia and Fritti “moved in” with me back in 1992, and they gave me years of delight and plenty of broken objects to remember them by. While Hiccup is the one who has it in for Pixie’s playhouse dolls, it was Lydia who managed to fall through an open access panel on the second floor of our house and end up trapped between the walls on the first floor. BJ, my Himalayan, was the one with the dirty panties fetish. He’d love a perfectly good pair of Victoria’s Secrets to death, if I let him. As for hair clippies and ponytail holders, that’s Toothless’ preferred play toy.

Then there was Fritti, our big orange tabby, whom I secretly suspect snapped the head off the groom of a Lladro statuette after Hubster accused Fritti of swiping his wedding band. I can’t say for certain it was him, but that fat cat did have attitude.

Anyway, my house has plenty of cats, and they do lots of crazy things. That is the definition of ‘cat.’