ACW Episode 190 – Recovery slowing me down

I will color this later. It has taken me all week to get this done. The doc took out my stitches last Friday and told me to get back to some of my regular activities, so I did and now I'm paying for it. Been in the pool twice this week, plus helped out with an all-day Girl Scout event on Saturday and ran my troop meeting yesterday. And of course, I have physical therapy three times a week. Today was especially brutal. Niw I'm very, very tired. So I didn't even color this strip, just got it inked and threw it up on the web. Sorry, but one day I will eventually get back to my usual routine.

 

ACW Episode 186 – Bath Time!!

Click on the thumbnail to see the full-sized webcomic!

Yes, this actually happened. No, I did not kill the small child. And yes, I am counting this as 4 points for PerCaDraMo because I have a bum knee and it's slowing everything down!!! So there!

I have no idea how Pixie managed to spill that much water out of the tub, but when I went screaming upstaris, there was more bath water on the floor than in the tub. In fact, there was almost more bath water in my yarn than in the tub. Almost, but fortunately I was able to move very fast in spite of my screwed-up knee. Frighteningly fast.

Speaking of my knee, I found out on Friday that I tore both the meniscus cartilage and the ACL in my right knee. So I will be having surgery in two weeks and then I will be on crutches probably for… Weeks? I dunno.

But before the surgery, I'm going to get up into the office and scan in plenty of Rats! comics as well as plenty of art for the Very Scary Art website so I can get back to posting on a regular basis.

Anyway, that's what's going on around here.

 

ACW Episode 183 – Let me take you higher…

The Adventures of Cynical Woman Web Comic!

Click on the thumbnail above to view the full-sized web-comicky goodness!

This is the perfect comic. I drew it exactly as I had imagined it. The colors came out brilliantly, IMHO. And the story is 100% completely true.

The second day of our last-minute vacation to the Shenadoah mountains, Hubster decided to take us all hiking. There was one trail, Bear Fence Ridge I think it was called, that included the words “rock scramble” in the description on the map. I was hoping for an alternate/indie music festival. Instead, what we got was miles of trail that meandered over stones taller than Hubster and I combined. I use the term “trail” loosely here. The actual footpath disappeared as soon as we hit the first giant pile of rocks. From then on, we had to scramble over the rocks (thus the term “rock scramble”) and follow hash marks of paint scattered here and there over the ridiculously increasingly dangerous landscape. And did I mention that somehow the kids ended up taking the lead? They ran right out in front of us the moment we hit the worst terrain and skipped their way up to heart-stopping heights to balance on the edges of cliffs that offered a breath-taking view of a sheer drop that went 50 or more feet straight DOWN.

Every time we reached the summit of one of these piles of mountainous stone, I kept thinking, “This is it! We can’t get any higher up! There’s no way the park rangers would make this path any worse! Not when they must know it could possibly get people killed!” But then we’d head for that next hash mark and sure enough, there was an even bigger pile of rock to climb.

When we reached the highest summit, Hubster and I stood there, staring down at the sheer drop only inches on either side of us. That was when he turned to me and confessed, “Ya know, I have a sleight fear of heights.” I swear I came so close to decking him. The only thing that stopped me was the fact that if I hit him, I’d probably knock him off the mountain, and then I’d have to go down the cliff face and retrieve his dead body myself. After more than an hour of rock scrambling, I was simply too tired to do that, so I waited until we got back to the car in a nice safe parking lot to hit him.

Today is the day Hurricane Sandy is supposed to do its worst damage to our area. Hopefully everyone out there stays nice and safe today. I plan to hunker down on the couch with my latest stash of yarn and work on more creepy craft projects. I think pretty soon I’m going to start posting pics of the weird dolls I’ve been making. I’ve been showing the works-in-progress on Twitter, and folks really seem to like them, so I may start blogging about crochet and spooky projects on a regular basis once I’ve got a few more pieces made up. So you have something to look forward to! Or run away from screaming! Depends on if you like crochet, I guess.

ACW Episode 182 – Vacationing with the Hubster

The Adventures of Cynical Woman!

Click on the thumbnail above to view the full-sized comic!

This is exactly what it’s like to go on vacation with Hubster. I have been married to this man for almost 20 years, and he has just about damn near killed me every one of those years by taking me on vacation. I remember our honeymoon. It was a death-march through Disney World. In Montreal, he walked us up and down the mountainside of the Mont Royal cemetery, looking for some mythical passageway to the park on the other side of the hill. He never found it, and when I slipped and fell in red clay mud and ruined my best linen skirt, trying to follow him down a steep path, I nearly killed him and left him there among the crypts. And then there was the time he nearly killed my aging mother by walking her to death in the Virginia Zoo.

Anyway. A week and a half ago, the kids had a four-day holiday from school, so at the last minute, Hubster planned a trip to the Shenandoah Mountains. He and I both went to college at Virginia Tech, so we love it up there. The kids had never been, and we hadn’t had a vacation in the last couple years, so I thought, why not? It was only four days, and surely the kids would slow him down…

We headed to the Shenandoah National Park on Thursday and spent the night at the Big Meadows Lodge. Beautiful place, absolutely gorgeous. The main lodge has a large sitting room with lots of comfy chairs and couches, a roaring fire place, and a big picture window view of the mountains. While Hubster played checkers with the kids, I sat on one of the comfy couches and crocheted contentedly.

It was the last peaceful moment I had all weekend.

Before dawn the next morning, Hubster got us all up so we could hike to one of the local viewing spots and see the sun rise. The kids started complaining right off the bat, but I knew it was way too early for that yet. This was only the first of many hikes Hubster had planned for the day. When we made it to our destination and the sun came up, the kids suddenly got all ecstatic!  “WOOHOO! WE HIKED ALL THE WAY OUT HERE BEFORE THE SUN CAME UP!! IT’S SO BEE-YOO-TEE-FUL OUT HERE!! NOW CAN WE GET BREAKFAST?!”

So we hiked back to the lodge, had breakfast, packed up the car, and checked out before heading out on our next hike. Which was considerably longer and tougher than the first one. And the hikes only got longer and tougher from there.

Long story short, the kids discovered that day what I had known for two decades. Given the chance, their father will walk until every member of the family falls to the ground dead. And then he’ll keep walking, not realizing he’s left us all behind. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love us. I know he does. But the man has to walk. And since I married him, I have to walk to. Until death do us part.

‘Nuff said.

I’ll try to post pics from the trip later on in the week. As exhausting as this trip was, it was beautiful.

Adventures of Cynical Woman – post mini-vacation

A good cartoonist would have a backlog of comics available when they go out of town. A good cartoonist would plan for surprise mini-vacations. A good cartoonist would have figured out how to draw without getting carsick while riding on the Skyline Drive.

I am not a good cartoonist.

I'll have a comic posted about the aforementioned surprise mini-vacation next week. For now, this will have to do.

Flashback Friday – Someday, I will look back

Today’s Flashback Friday artwork is not my artwork, and it’s not old artwork either. It’s a pair of drawings my oldest daughter, the Princess, did a few weeks ago.

Flashback_20120629_princess

“Self-Portrait” by Princess, age 9

Flashback_20120629_me

“Purple-Haired Mama with Orange Flower” by Princess, age 9

One day, I am going to look back at these drawings and remember what it was like to be 43 years old and the mother of two very rambunctious little girls. I’m going to remember that I went crazy when my hair started going white and that I dyed it various unnatural colors as a result. I’m going to remember that my daughters were as talented as they were silly/goofy/hyper-active/crazy. And then I’m going to realize that not much has changed. Except perhaps that my hair has only gotten wilder and the girls have gotten bigger, and we’ve all gotten a bit older but none of us are any more mature.

Yes, someday I will look back. But right now, this is what the Princess and I look like today.

Observing a week of silence

We have had a death in the family this weekend. The Hubster, Princess, Pixie and I are fine, but we are now entirely occupied with family matters and will remain so for the rest of the week. The Cynical Woman website, VeryScaryArt.com, and the Heat Flash podcast will not be updated during this time. Thank you all for your condolences, prayers, and kindness. We truly appreciate it.

The March to Keep Deer Alive!

I am having waaaay too much fun today with my computer. Here’s one of the signs I’m putting together for the March To Keep Fear Alive. This is the fault of the Hubster, Mich, and myself, so you know who to blame.

This is the poster Princess will be carrying at the march. Now to see if I can get this printed in time for October 30th!

My “Fear Me” t-shirt is here! (with pics of my boobs)

Huzzah! My “Fear Me” t-shirt arrived today. Zazzle did a great job with printing this one up. Here’s a pic:

And yes, those are my actual boobs inside that t-shirt. Love how the shirt fits, by the way. I can’t wait to wear this to the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear!

If you would like your own “Fear Me” t-shirt, they are for sale at Zazzle.com. Remember, the profits go to DonorsChoose.org, one of the charities supported by the Colbert Report.